To not want to be with someone who drinks?

[Themadfamily96]

I have been tee-total for a few years now, don’t mind being around drinkers, it’s just not for me.

I started seeing someone a few months ago and at first I thought it was just the occasional drink here and there - which to be fair it is - usually 2 or 3 times a week. But what is bothering me is how they behave when they drink - they get very annoying, if I’m not out with them they will try and call me at stupid times during the night even though they know my daughter sleeps in with me - they just go from acting like a mature brown person to an 18 year old again.

I would never tell someone they can’t drink etc, and I’ve told them plenty of times I don’t like how they behave when they drink so they are aware but choose to get that drunk again and again and make a fool of themselves.

AIBU to not want to be with someone like this or am I just a massive boring party pooper?! (They are in their mid 20’s, I’m in my early 30’s if that helps)

YANBU that sounds annoying. Have they showed any signs of being willing to change their behaviour for you, even a little? If not, maybe you're just incompatible.

This isn't a 'someone who drinks' problem it's a 'someone who's annoying when they drink' problem.

End it, they sound really annoying.

YANBU.

That sounds like a very irritating person if I'm honest. I agree with the above comment, the person sounds annoying, and you're incompatible.

Nope, they have a certain friend who they go out drinking with and I think they are just a bad influence on each other as that’s when she usually gets really drunk and annoying as a result!

You’re at different life stages even without the alcohol. Move on.

I like a drink myself but this guy sounds annoying, and you’re entitled to not want to be with a drinker. I’d end it.

YANBU...we all have our preferences .... I wouldn't date a smoker..or a heavy/regular drinker... because of personal preference 🤷‍♀️

This.

Most people can have a glass of wine a couple of times a week without behaving like an idiot.

You're being smart. Don't second guess yourself. It's a perfectly valid dating standard to hold.

Chuck him back into the ocean

She goes out drinking 2 or 3 times a week? That isn't occasional.

(They are in their mid 20’s, I’m in my early 30’s if that helps)

This is the issue really, when they are in their early 30's they will probably drink less, but i would look to date someone who is already there.

No they sound immature, you are settled with a child and they are still in the going out drinking phase, it's not a good match.

It sounds like you’re at different stages in your life. Nothing wrong with her going out and having fun in her 20’s, but your life has moved on.
I loved a night out in my teens/20’s. now into my 30’s with a kid and I couldn’t think of anything worse. I have a couple younger friends and I’m always declining invites for a night out and say I’ll meet them for lunch or dinner instead.
I think you both should find someone you’re more compatible with.

Yes. Different stages.

But also, it's absolutely fine for you to have a hard line about alcohol. But then you either need to have a hard line on it, or let things go as soon as people demonstrate that they don't act within your reasonable bounds for a softer line.

It's done, no point flogging a dead horse. Let him/her go.

Ah sorry you have said 'she'.

The two of you aren't compatible in this area, and it's a pretty big area. So it's time to accept that she isn't right for you and you aren't right for her either.

bin them off i couldnt stand it either.