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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD’s hair!

3 replies

LDA123 · 30/01/2023 06:54

It was a common theme throughout my marriage that my soon to be ex-H didn’t think I made enough effort with my appearance. Has referred to me as looking like a tramp in the past.

I admit that, on a day to day basis, I don’t wear make-up (especially as WFH and when with the kids) but obviously if I’m going out or into office, I would always wear make-up etc, nicer clothes. I feel I’ve always looked nice and respectable but never with hair perfect “done” hair, nails done etc. I’ve always been like this (even when we met) so not as if I’ve changed.

Anyway, a common theme also is that he feels I’m setting a terrible example for our DD10. I brush her hair every day and get put it up for school. She brushes own hair too but I do help as it’s very thick and she tends to not get the underneath. She is not that bothered about having perfect hair but I thought that was pretty normal for a 10 year old.

Anyway, she came home yesterday with her her straightened. In fairness, it did look lovely. I just feel that a 10 year old has the rest of her life to worry about those things

Sorry this is a bit rambling, I not even sure what I’m asking. I guess what’s normal hair care for a 10 year old and do people make a big effort trying to encourage “grooming”.

OP posts:
helloisitmeyourelookingfor · 30/01/2023 06:59

You'll probably get lots of people saying 10 year olds should be able to manage their own hair but as someone with very thick hair and the mother of 2 DD's with thick hair I think it's totally normal to help until they are 12/13

If it's regularly trimmed and you are managing the brushing then it's fine

And the occasional straightening as a bit of a pamper is also fine -just as long as it's not a daily expectation

muddlingthrou · 30/01/2023 07:01

Your ex sounds incredibly superficial and mean. You're setting a great example for your DD where her natural self is enough. Please don't listen to his rubbish. If DD wants to straighten her hair occasionally, fine, but please don't end up giving her the message that she needs to make lots of changes to her appearance to look acceptable. She'll end up hating her hair.

watchfulwishes · 30/01/2023 07:08

Your ex is a sexist arse.

You are you. You are fine.There is more than one way to be a woman.

Your daughter can choose what she wants to do in her own time.

Just carry on as you are in your home and shut your (horrible) ex out of your head.

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