Do I report or not?

[Cileymyrus2]

child A visits household with child B and C quite regularly
child A has for the last few years reported that child B (6) has been physically chastised by her parent lots of screaming crying - understandably child A doesn’t want to go (time is v limited at present)
child A reports it is a slap or pulling around

recently I overheard the other parent complaining that child B has been telling another family member that her parent hits her but blamed the child for exaggerating but admitted he does

i Am aware that there is heavy alcohol use regularly on weekends starting from afternoon time

parenta hold down jobs appear respectable and are very well off (doesn’t make a diff but just to give context)

do I report or not - as iv not seen myself and therefore can’t judge the extent but I do know it’s enough for child A to feel affected by it

I can't follow it.

child A visits household with child B and C quite regularly
child A has for the last few years reported

To who
that child B (6) has been physically chastised by her parent who's parent lots of screaming crying - *who's doing the screaming? Who's doing the crying? Or do you mean scream crying?"

understandably child A doesn’t want to go (time is v limited at present)
child A reports it is a slap or pulling around

Yes of course, at the very least to the NSPCC if you need information

Sorry
yes child b is screaming crying lots child A has seen slaps and arm grabbing and overheard child B screaming and crying

it’s enough for child A to be distressed
child A has told her parent
but it’s complicated as child A can sometimes not report completely accurately

Child A can sometimes not report completely accurately.

what other evidence do you have except an unreliable child’s account?

Why wouldn’t your report it?

Why does child A have to go?

what other evidence do you have except an unreliable child’s account?

Child A has told her parent that they
have seen child B being slapped and grabbed and has heard them
scrqmimg and crying. What more evidence do you want?

Yes I would report, you have two
children saying the same thing and a lot of alcohol being consumed.

There’s the father’s admission that OP overheard.

The conversation between one of the parents and another about child b exaggerating
that’s what’s brought it up again and made me think is it serious

I volunteer with children in various capacities. If a child told me what A has told you, even once never mind over several years, then I’d be passing on a safeguarding report. Of course you report it, though it would be helpful to know if you’re A’s other parent or eg her teacher in being able to tell you how to do that.

I’m A’s parent yes

I'm gonna read between the lines. Child A is yours and he visits his dad where Child B and C live with dads new partner/wife. B is an outgoing child and parwnts get irritated when she's just being a kid. It's worse when they drink because his tolerance goes down and his temper goes up.
B is unhappy and doesn't understand why parents don't love her/are mean. She's spoken to adults who she thought would help and its made it worse. A (your child?) is observing all of this and wants to help B so now he's told an adult who he he trusts.
Are you gonna help

Well, are you?

Why has it been allowed to go on for years?
Yes of course you should report it!!

How old are A and B?

OP is child A saying that child B is screaming and crying beacuse their father is hitting them? Or are they screaming and crying and that’s why their father is hitting them?

Is child A your child?

If I had a good relationship with the father I’d talk to him about it in the first instance and try and help him get a parenting course or something. And if child A were mine I would not allow them round to child B’s without me until things seemed to have improved.

If that didn’t seem appropriate or effective I would report exactly what I’d heard, with the caveat child A isn’t the most reliable witness. I’d probably make the report to the school (if appropriate) or social services, but if you prefer NSPCC then that’s an appropriate route too. I would not expect much to come of such a report, but would hope it would help to stop things from escalating.

Is this the case op. The parents are in fact also child a’s parents. Father and step mother.

Iv been told of 2 incidents through over the last few years is what I mean

Yes, you need to report that. You should be able to find contact details for Children’s Services on your local council website.

Plus stop letting your child go there.

But this conversation I have overheard makes me think it is much more regular

what was reported to me was an incident with a slap on the legs
and another time about a year ago where the child was dragged whilst she was crying and screaming if I had thought this was anything more regular of course I would have reported

iv never seen any marks on the child but that fo course doesn’t mean it’s not happening

Have just seen the suggestion that the father is your Ex. If true I do think that could complicate things and makes any action more risky, but also more important if your DC is looking to you to protect them and their half/step-sibling.

Your child is distressed by a situation at their Dad’s, telling you other children are being hit and the adults are drunk and you are seriously wondering if you should do anything about it?? Has it occurred to you they might be hitting A too? That your own child never mind anyone else’s is at risk?

Stop dithering and do something. Report it - you could speak to the NSPCC, the safeguarding lead at A’s school (or B’s school), social services at the local authority….

Safeguarding is everyone's responsibility...if you suspect abuse then please report to social services.

without outing myself
there is a court order involved too
I have to very careful not to make things worse for my child ie the courts deciding on alienating him then deciding he gets custody
as iv been threatened with multiple times
i have got it down a lot and he’s not to drink with my dc there
but yes I’ll be reporting

So is this your ex doing the hitting?

Yes
100% not to my dc I’m assured they tell me abs my family everything which is why I have cut contact to the point where it’s much less
tbh I have been unsure on what it was I don’t use physical chastisement but I know some people may tap the legs or pull a child up if they are refusing to move and that’s why I have not reported before

my child HAS to go there so I have to tread the line of being reasonable abs rational
my dc would message me straight away if anyone ever tried being physical with them I am assured of that
but this conversation I have heard makes me feel it is more than I thought not just an odd occasion but more for this child to have told a family member and be accused of exaggerating