Husband issues

[Kelwar]

Hi guys.. I’d really appreciate your thoughts on this.. if you think I’m being a div please be kind with that feedback lol..
so I’ve been married for 15 years.. 2 kids.. we’re both middle aged.. our marriage has been hard work recently.. I feel like DH doesn’t communicate very often and hasn’t shown much interest in my life in general.
he recently mentioned to our friends that a lady from his working past (over 22 years ago) had got in touch with him to get contact details for another mutual friend.. I thought this was a bit strange seeing as this person she was looking for is very easy to find on social media.. thinking that she was getting in touch for the wrong reasons I pressed him to see the messages which he did show me.. but what I discovered was that he has started writing to her first.. I find this a little shady seeing as they weren’t great pals all those years ago and she’s incredibly gorgeous.. I felt he was writing to her to get a response in a test the water type way.. he was incredibly defensive and annoyed with me for questioning his integrity.. then he followed up with ‘if you really want to be worried about other women, you should be worried about loads of women I’ve worked
wiyh over the years because loads of them have offered it to me on a plate and I haven’t done anything.. and where I work now there are women who want me!’
I was so gobsmacked I honestly didn’t know how to respond.. and now I’m wondering if this man is actually as nice as I thought he was.. it absolutely crushed me him saying that and I don’t really know what to do. Any thoughts on how I should move forward with this ?

ps messaging someone on Facebook doesn't make you penpals! It just means casually saying hi!

It's up to you what you do, but it certainly doesn't seem anything to end a marriage over! Or even close to.

I would put money on the fact that multiple women haven't been and aren't throwing themselves at him. Women generally don't go about launching themselves at middle aged men unless they are wealthy, powerful or both.

I wouldn't get angry. Angry is an odd response. I would try and make sure my husband realised he had nothing to worry about. If he went on and on for weeks I might get annoyed but ti get angry straight up is odd

We’ve had loads Of issues recently.. communication etc.. it was a small thing added to a pile of other stuff.. i wouldn’t end a marriage over a message.. but when there are so many other things I wonder if we’d be happier apart.. thanks Rosei I appreciate your responses because it’s good to hear the things you don’t want to hear sometimes

He’s a bit full of himself isn’t he? That would be it for me. Tell him to go get one of those women who find him so irresistible.

No problem. It's a different story if there's other things going on, hope you manage to resolve it in the best way for you x

Is he startlingly good looking in a mature kind of way? Could he be mistaken for George Clooney? I have worked with many men. I saw very few women offering themselves to married middle aged men with no discernible charm. He sounds quite unpleasant really. I can't really see loads of women offering themselves on a plate unprompted.

He lied to you about her contacting him. And why does he want to look at your phone? I think he was testing the water with her.

A relative of my husband, a minor celebrity in his time, developed a form of dementia where he believed he was incredibly attractive to women who were all apparently eyeing him up lustfully. Luckily, it appears he never acted on these thoughts about the lustful women and it was all in his imagination. Is your husband fully in command of all his faculties?

Is she still incredibly gorgeous 22 years later? My husband had a very gorgeous ex-girlfriend with whom he didn't correspond. I always thought maybe he carried a torch for her as she left him. We saw a photograph of her a few years ago and the years hadn't been kind. I must admit I chuckled unkindly and he did tell me off.

This.

Lol.. no hes no George but he’s attractive.he’s always been friends with women .. they do seem to like him.. i wonder if he does give off the wrong signals if they all want him so much ..

she’s still very attractive..