Valentines day making me sad already.

[WarrickDavisAsPlates]

I don't even like valentines day but every year I get this huge sadness around it. I just can't shake it, every time I see a valentines card in the shops I just want to cry. If anybody asks if I have plans or when I see valentines advertisements I get this horrible feeling in my stomach, a but like a sad/panic/sick feeling.

Am I completely insane? Does anyone else get like this?

It's not only valentines day, I feel the same about New Years Eve and my wedding anniversary. Even the weeks/days leading up to it I feel so emotionally fragile.

I'm sure I didn't used to be like this. Maybe only the last... 5-10 years.

It sounds like there's a previous bad experience wrapped up in your reaction somewhere. Anything you are aware of?

Is it to do with ageing, and the realisation that things which were once full of undefined promise and sparkle are no longer so? I get that a bit, and I'm perfectly happy with my life - it's just that these days remind me of the excitement I felt about them in younger years.

Ignore me if I'm totally projecting

Are you single or in a relationship? I think if the former it's kind of normal to feel like that during big 'events'

I don't feel sad about Valentine's Day, or anniversaries, but I do feel a bit of background melancholy with Christmas. Not at all on the day, or all the prep and events, I love all that - but just a twinge about the passage of time. It brings it home to me like nothing else, not even birthdays. Even though I thoroughly enjoy myself.

I agree OP. For singletons, it is their yearly reminder that they have been single for X number of years, which increases by 1 every year.

I do, I am dreading it this year.

I hate it. Always have. I have only ever got a card from people I was in a relationship with. Never got an anonymous one.

It is all over supermarkets now. I feel like I can't even catch a glance of it all as I walk past. In my head, people will be looking at me and judging me... "look at that ugly fuck looking at the Valentine's Day cards... who does she think she is?"... just goes round my head.

I absolutely detest valentine's Day and I'm in a happy relationship. I also hate Nye. I hate any days where the marketing men tell me how I should be feeling. It's all a load of shite.

This is so sad, I’m sorry you feel like this but I’m sure people aren’t thinking like this. If I stood next to you looking at the cards I would probably want to have a laugh with you about all of the cheesy ones.

I'm not sure I remember anything actually happening to make me feel this way. I always was very cynical about valentines day.

Could be an age thing, I've hit an early menopause so even though I'm not that old I'm starting to feel like I have the body of an older woman.

I am in a relationship although admittedly an unhappy one. I do always feel a slight sadness about lovely couples, I recognise that's more of a jealousy or longing for type of feeling. Not as powerful as the valentines sadness at all.

I think you should do something nice for yourself that you can look forward to. Can you go for dinner with a friend or have a glass of wine in the bath and read a book?

That's so sad, I'm sure nobody would think that and I'm sure you're far from "ugly". Although I certainly feel the same way I would hate to think my daughter or friends felt as down on themselves.

Yeah its rubbish if you're single or in a bad relationship. A yearly reminder of your 'failures'. I feel your pain.

The older I get the sadder Valentines day makes me. Silly really. I think it's a mid life crisis thing.

I’m sorry you feel like that OP. I guess I have felt “meh” about Valentine’s Day for … at least 20 years. Yes I’m in a long term relationship but it’s only fun when you’re in a new couple I think? For the vast majority of us it’s just another day. I don’t buy into the craze one bit, just keep busy 🥰

Its a "bad relationship " thing, I think. When I was with my exH, he completely ignored Valentines, said it was a big old con, etc, so I never considered it being "for me". I was quite dismissive of it, because it made me fell sad.

My current DP is a soppy old romantic and treats me like an absolute queen - last year we actually went out for dinner on Valentines Day! I'm looking forward to it this year as well.

If it makes you feel any better, neither I, nor any of my friends celebrate it. I never have done. I have been married for 7 years and together for 10.

It is just another day and I completely ignore it. I honestly dont know anyone that makes a fuss of it. Is such a silly day.

I don’t think it’s a bad relationship thing… I’m in a very happy marriage and couldn’t care less about Valentine’s Day. I don’t really know anyone who makes much of an effort for it. DH and I will give each other a card and some chocolates but it’s the one celebration of the year that doesn’t really interest me at all.

I find Valentine’s Day tough because I don’t get the hype plus it was my Grandad’s birthday and always reminds me how much I miss him 😢

I like this idea. It might re-frame it in my mind so it's something to look forward to instead of something sad.

Maybe I'll try and do a nicer dinner for the kids and meet a friend for a drink or something.

I can't stand it, and neither can DH! We don't give each other anything. It's just a normal day.

I’m single after divorce and DV with a subsequent partner.

I now like Valentine’s Day more than ever! Make it the event you want it to be!

I also have children, so I buy them each a card, a small bag of chocolates/ rose. I buy the ridiculous over priced heart shaped crumpets for breakfast on Valentine’s Day and some table confetti. I tell them how much I love them and plan a nice evening of a film and popcorn with them.

they love the attention/special nature of the day and I love it being a day that’s happy and feel no pressure from others

I've been with my partner 10 years and we don't even bother with it we never have, it's just a commercial waste of money
I don't see why anyone gets worked up over it to be honest what's the point?