I've name changed as I don't want this very obvious thread linked to my main name sorry!
Basically my mum stuck her head in the sand about finances/ pensions/ security most of her life. She is in her mid 50s and is considering buying a house. But with rent being stupid money she is struggling to save a deposit. It will wipe out my savings but I can give her about €20k towards it. Where she lives she can still get a very decent house for about €175k it will be small but perfect for her needs.
Anyway DH thinks if I do I need to get something in writing that I have 'invested' in the house. But I don't think I can, I know lenders in Ireland (where I am) often look for a letter to confirm that the money is a gift and the giver will not look for it back.
I am an only child so when it comes to it (all going as nature intends) I will inherit this house. If not DS will. My mum has said that is what she intends. There would nothing of course to stop her in years to come to write a will and amend that to leave the house to the birds but I really doubt she would.
My mum was left high and dry when my dad left. I know it's a bit crappy but I am thinking at least this would leave me somewhere if things don't work out with DH. We are together 15 years and I honestly don't see us ever breaking up.
But that 20k will come back to me, and until that point if something does happen with me and DH he wouldn't be able to touch it as the house will be 100% my mums.
AIBU - Do not give the money to your mum
YANBU - Give it to your mum