For asking DP to clean and tidy more

[meegsmalone]

I truly don’t think I’m BU, but I’ll respect it if other people’s opinions differ.

I’ve been really ill this weekend, bad cough and temperature, just feeling absolutely shit and drained for the most part. DP has been making me food and taking on the bulk of childcare, but I’ve helped with DC when I can. The house has been an absolute tip, no hoovering done, dishes piling up, kitchen is a mess in general. DP, when he isn’t looking after me or DC is playing games on his Xbox/PC. I got a bit annoyed and decided to make an attempt at sorting the house out, this prompted him to tell me to lie down and he said he would sort it and that I only had to ask him. I said that I shouldn’t have to ask, and that he should take pride in his home and not prioritise online gaming over housework ALL the time (sometimes is fine, I understand that sometimes you just need to chill and the house can wait). DP responded that he’s “allowed to have a weekend too” (because my weekend has been so wonderful 🙄)

I’m not exaggerating when I say I cannot remember the last time DP hoovered or put a load of washing on! He seems to think doing the dishes the odd time suffices, and leaving everything else to me is acceptable.

FWIW, when DP had this same illness last week I done everything for him and didn’t let him lift a finger, including ensuring that the house was tidy.

Yanbu. He definitely sees the house as your job.

Good luck OP. My DH will occasionally hoover throughout upstairs and will do chores if I ask but it pisses me off that I have to ask.

He washes up if I cook and I'm training him to wipe down the cooker hob as well 🙄

I've just asked him to give both loos a good clean. He'll do it next week...... bloody right you will sunshine.

It sounds like you need to have a proper talk about fair division of labour and stop enabling him to opt out of adult life

YANBU, at all. Especially since you did all this for him when he was under the weather. Hope you feel better soon.

Why is this only an issue when you're unwell? He should be doing his fair share all of the time.

Sounds like you've been doing it all and being ill has made you realise it. If you go back to doing 99% if housework after you're better then that's on you. I have no idea how this website is so full of women who accept this kind of life. How do you hsve time for hobbies, friends, sleep! if you are doing it all yourself?