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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does this sound like a toxic friendship?

4 replies

Consciousuncouplings · 29/01/2023 13:22

We're not in contact anymore, but looking back I found it quite stressful and do feel like a weight's been lifted from my shoulders.

I was friends with her for around 6 years, having met her through work. There were things like, whenever I talked about a guy I liked, she'd ask for a photo of him. I'd send one and she'd instantly say 'Oh he's really not my type.' every single time. Why should it matter, it's not her that's dating him?

A guy had once shown interest in me in another place I worked in, which I was excited about. I told her and she went, "Oh, I bet he was really young, like 18 or something." (i was late 20s)

If you were ever going away or anything, she wouldn't say 'have a good time' or something along those lines like most people would. She'd just say "I see.". Like she could never be happy for you.

I think people on here might suggest possible autism but when she spoke to others, like guys she liked, she didn't behave like this.

i had an awful love life at the time, none of these guys I talked about to her ever worked out, so it's not like I was boasting or anything. She also had a very interesting life and travelled a lot.

I went to stay with her once for a few days, it was a couple of hours away on the train. I remember she couldn't even be bothered to meet me at rhe station, she just gave me directions to get the bus to her house. Then I'm not saying she had to go all out but all there was in her house to eat was some frozen piece of chicken that she could find. I am almost certain that wasn't down to poverty or anything, she was living with family at the time and she also worked full time. She just hadn't made much effort.

Anyway I could go on, there were a lot of good moments but looking back, I feel like she was very bitter and liked to pour salt on any good news. I always shared bad things that happened, it's not like I was always boasting or anything and plus I was single 99% of the time.

Does this sound healthy in a friendship? I wish it had ended sooner in a way

OP posts:
Consciousuncouplings · 29/01/2023 13:23

Everyone else just found her really sweet and lovely so I just felt like I was always being too sensitive and that it was me with the issue... Maybe it was

OP posts:
Consciousuncouplings · 29/01/2023 16:10

Anyone please?

OP posts:
Nuisanc · 29/01/2023 17:00

i had an awful love life at the time, none of these guys I talked about to her ever worked out

It could be that she was fed up about hearing about them all? I don't see why someone needs to meet you at the train station. And judgy much about her frozen chicken? Did you used to throw on a big evening meal for her in comparison? Did you used to meet her at the train station?

daisytumble · 29/01/2023 17:17

You just sound incompatible, truly. Neither party at fault

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