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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

friend quit last minute

35 replies

annierodgers1 · 29/01/2023 12:02

Me and my friend had planned a fancy spa day out which we have planned for around 6 weeks now. She then told me the day before her in-laws were visiting which she had only known for that day which is the day before our spa day. I feel very upset over this but I’m also not a confrontational person and do not like standing up for myself so I just told her it’s no stress and we can plan it for another day. But then when I tried cancelling, it was too late and it has cost me £200 to book. I do not know what to do about this as it is a lot of money but I can’t also be mad at her for a last minute plan. AIBU?

OP posts:
custardbear · 29/01/2023 13:18

Burnamer · 29/01/2023 12:06

You tell your friend that it’s too late to cancel and she owes you x for her booking. Then you go and have your treatments on your own.
you don’t need to be mad at her but if she can’t manage her diary / tell her in laws she already has plans, that isn’t your problem to fix.

Absolutely this!

M08my · 29/01/2023 13:40

Wait, I'm reading this as you paid 200 for your day but now don't want to go on your own? So she doesn't owe you any money, just go on your own.

I consider myself an extravert but I still love to go to the spa on my own, you're there to relax not gossip.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 29/01/2023 13:51

In laws combined with a DH can exert a tremendous amount of pressure.

However in her shoes I'd be happy to escape that to visit a spa.

If her DH knows she will owe you £100 it might make things easier for her.

Lairymary · 29/01/2023 13:52

Will the Spa let you move it to another day rather than cancel?

cushioncovers · 29/01/2023 13:54

Op you're going to have to message your friend and let her know what the spa has told. Set your boundaries better, a good friend won't hate you for circumstances that you can't control or that she has created. Her lack of planning shouldn't be your financial loss.

Mariposista · 29/01/2023 13:55

Cheeky flaky shit. She owes you her share.

Oysterbabe · 29/01/2023 14:06

I would go alone or take someone else and ask her to pay any amount you are out of pocket by. She should have told her inlaws that she has plans.

catandcoffee · 29/01/2023 14:16

Why would she need to cancel the spa day because in laws are visiting ?

I'd be very interested in her answer.

Beautiful3 · 29/01/2023 14:55

Just explain to her nicely, what's happened. She should reimburse you. If not, take someone else and never book for her again.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 29/01/2023 15:06

Text her, stating it's too late to cancel, so she still needs to pay
I'd also check first with the venue if you can change booking to a later date

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