AIBU to not understand this recent trend of giving baby girls male names?

[LaLuz7]

James, Ryan, Dylan...

I can't wrap my head around the idea of purposefully choosing a very traditionally male name for a girl.

Why would you? What message are you trying to send? Why don't you ever see it done the other way around (female names for boys)?

I personally feel that if I had gotten a male name it would have made me feel like my parents really wanted a boy and were disappointed in me. It would feel almost spiteful and it would give me inadequacy feelings.

My other gripe with this is that it doesn't sit well with me from a feminist perspective. By giving girls male names (but never ever the other way around) you are perpetuating the idea that masculinity as a trait is desirable and valuable above femininity.

Can someone explain it to me?

Would sound much better for a boy, some girls might be able to carry it off when they were older.

I'll accept the "all names are unisex" argument when we have boys being named Elizabeth, Rebecca and Sarah.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/baby_names/4730996-sky-or-hazel-for-a-boy

That does not meant that "it's also a male name". What it means is that 1000 families gave their boys a very female name.

Olivia Walton of The Waltons was Michael Learned.

I’ve got a unisex name- never given it a second thought.
im in my 40s and in our year there were girls called Leigh, Ashleigh, Toni, Dayle, Terri and Jamie. I also grew up with a female Kieran and Stevie. Not a big deal imo

OP, you started this thread asking for people to explain this to you because you don't understand it.

Have you learnt anything?

My point is that it's only a "female name" because our culture has decided it's female - in the same way that Dylan or James are primarily male because that's what our culture has decided.

You've decided it's beautiful, traditional and feminine - but those 1000 families with male "Dianas" in the US clearly disagree with you

I also know boys called Stacey, Kasey and Shannon

I'm not sure if they're deliberately chosing to give a daughter a male name. I'd look at it as a finger up to tradition and more a case of 'who said its a boys name?'. In time it won't be but it has to start somewhere.
I'd view it as similar to when women first started wearing trousers. It was a bit shocking and different to start with and maybe only the most brave would be up for it. I'm sure their parents or family and friends didn't presume they wanted to be male.
I think in the future gender will become a more private or personal think and not immediately obvious by title eg Miss, Mr, name or clothing.

The first time I met a male Kim, I was about ten, and I was so confused as I only knew it as a nickname for a girl named Kimberley

I don’t think this is a very pleasant thread. The child whose name you are referencing is 10, and she likes her name. I like her name too.

Personally, I would prefer a masculine name for a girl than one of the fairly popular, twee girl names that are about at the moment. But I really can’t get that invested in what other people call their children.

Also I hate to break it to the OP but in a nursery I worked in there was a little lad called Dhyanah- pronounced the same way as yours. His parents were from Bangladesh. We also had a lad called Dhyan (Diane). So your name is obviously used for males too!

I've told her that, but apparently the fact that 1000 boys in the US are named Diana doesn't count

I think in the future gender will become a more private or personal think and not immediately obvious by title eg Miss, Mr, name or clothing

Hopefully it'll be rejected entirely and people can just be themselves without labels.

I reckon our sons possibly share the same name!

I'm in the Southern US. Carol is not pronounced "Carl." If anything, we add a syllable. In the US Carol is almost always a woman's name.

Do you also say Lady Doctor?

St Clare , founder of the Poor Clare nuns , died in 1253. So I'm guessing it's been a girl's name quite a long time!

It’s a bit complicated isn’t it?

I think many if not most posters here would argue that gender stereotypes are meaningless and clothes, toys and names are / should be for everyone.

But if approached my a man called Joanne wearing high heels and a dress, they wouldn’t be so accepting.

FWIW I think there is nothing wrong with calling your daughter Johnathan or whatever, but you’re singling them out from the crowd and ensuring they will receive a double take / comment / attention wherever they go from a young age. Only some children would enjoy that experience, many would find it hard. I think it’s rather selfish that says something about the parent. Like calling your child ‘Potato’ etc.

It's not a new thing. I know of women in their mid 20s name Finlay, Jack and Dylan.

DH and I were wondering the other day what names would never be used for a girl, after a relative in the US gave their DD a surname which because a boys name.

Yes and it varies between cultures. Lawrence in French sounds like Laurence which is 100% a female name. Andrea is a female name, except in Russian what's is a male name.
And why is it that flower or gemstone names (Rose, Daisy, Amber, Ruby) are female and not male names?

Film director Carol Reed directed films such as Odd Man Out and The Third Man. HE won an Oscar for directing Oliver! and became Sir Carol in 1952. Many males from Eastern Europe have Carol as a name including a couple of Kings of Romania and a recent Pope (John Paul II).

Another unisex name is Eden. I know if both boys and girls with it.
All names are def not unisex though.
Dh has a middle name which is more of a girl’s name now but wasn’t 50 years ago.
I’ve never heard of a female James fwiw! Jaime, yes.

*I think many if not most posters here would argue that gender stereotypes are meaningless and clothes, toys and names are / should be for everyone.

But if approached by a man called Joanne wearing high heels and a dress, they wouldn’t be so accepting*

I would. As long as Joanne wasn't insisting that they were a woman or demanding access to female-only spaces, there's no problem.

OP, do you also subscribe to the idea of "girl's clothes" and "boy's clothes"? Or "girl's toys" and "boy's toys"? Or jobs? Or hobbies?

You said quite early on in the thread that you considered yourself a feminist but this seems entirely at odds with the idea that certain names - especially when it's been demonstrated many times on the thread that the same names can be popular for females and males at different points in time - are strictly for one sex and not the other.

I'm genuinely not trying to be argumentative. I'm trying to see your perspective but it just doesn't seem to make sense.