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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just want a peaceful Sunday morning with serene children?

52 replies

BergamotMouse · 29/01/2023 08:41

My kids are just manic, age 6 & 4. Either one on their own and it's fine. Put them both together and it's about 4X the noise and chaos. Both fighting to be heard with increasingly whingey voices, one doing a headstand, the other falling off the kitchen bench, oh where's that remote control car come from that your driving around the kitchen like a maniac??!

DH sat there absorbed in the newpaper with radio 3 blaring in the background to add the noise, probably a stressful trumpet heavy orchestral piece.

I just can't deal with the noise and chaos, find myself using my stern voice for the whole morning! I know I should engage with them more, sit down and have a wonderful Sunday breakfast and a chat but it's no fun (I'll just get stressed out by one of them making loud dablahblahrookle type sounds on repeat!), I do it 6 other days a week and just want a break to drink a cup of tea.

What can I do??!

OP posts:
saveforthat · 29/01/2023 08:42

Go out for breakfast and leave DH to it.

Original poster
BergamotMouse · 29/01/2023 08:44

Just to add for the sake of balance

DH does do most school runs as I leave at 7:30 every morning. So he's not completely useless. He wants a break too, he's just very good at getting it and can block the chaos out.

OP posts:
Ostryga · 29/01/2023 08:45

Dd is currently pretending to be an 80 year old southern Granny (fab Texas accent from god knows where) it’s too early 😂

Can you go out for breakfast? Let DH deal with the kids. Or even better sign him up to park run or something so he can take the kids out every Sunday and you can lay in bed drinking tea. One day a week isn’t too much to ask.

Original poster
BergamotMouse · 29/01/2023 08:47

saveforthat · 29/01/2023 08:42

Go out for breakfast and leave DH to it.

We're pretty rural. There's nowhere to go 😭.

OP posts:
Lcb123 · 29/01/2023 08:48

plan for DH to take kids out on a Sunday morning …

MeinKraft · 29/01/2023 08:50

Announce you are going to the bath and don't want to be disturbed. Take your tea.

Spottypaperdoll · 29/01/2023 08:50

My husband is wonderful too, but when he needs a break he can go to the bedroom and the kids leave him alone, I can’t go to the toilet without one of them following me in to air some grievance or another.

I go out for a run and end up in a coffee shop and have poached eggs on toast. It’s my little bit of heaven every week- and I truly believe it makes me a better mom

bumpytrumpy · 29/01/2023 08:51

I think take it in turns to go out alone and also all together. So 1 in 3 you have home alone.

2reefsin30knots · 29/01/2023 08:52

Only allow TV/ tech on a Sunday morning (with headphones) so it is silent treat time for everyone. Make sure you physically wear them out the rest of the week so they are desperate for a few hours on the sofa.

Lkydfju · 29/01/2023 08:54

I instigated that on a Sunday morning I get my first cup of tea in peace for ten minutes; it gives me the calm to start the day.

SnuggleBuggleBoo · 29/01/2023 08:55

Kick them out in the garden if they won't simmer down! It's what I do! 'I can see you need to blow some cobwebs away! Outside please. You can come back in when you've burnt off some energy and we can talk and play calmly.' And then follow through. Get them all wrapped up in cosy layers and outside they go. Really it's only been an option for kids to not be out of doors from dawn til dusk for the past 40 years or so. Out of what, 300,000 years, that's quite a short time in the scheme of things! It's not very natural to have them scrambling about indoors under your feet.

Alliwantistobe · 29/01/2023 08:55

You and DH take it in turns to have quiet time on Sunday mornings. Take your tea into bed and lock the bedroom door when its your turn to have your quiet morning.

GardeningGirlAgain · 29/01/2023 08:57

Switch the radio off and stick the tv on for them!

RocketIceLollie · 29/01/2023 08:59

Embrace it. You'll miss it when they are grown up and move out.

Your husband listens to Radio 3?! I've never known anyone to listen to Radio 3, or Radio 4 for that matter.

Ragwort · 29/01/2023 09:01

Rocket I can assure you I don't miss it ... my DS has left home and I just love peaceful mornings ... and peaceful evenings for that matter Grin.

Go to Church? I've always been a church goer but it was a particularly useful way to get out of the house on a Sunday morning ...

BeyondMyWits · 29/01/2023 09:09

I remember those days - mine are at uni now, so we just get dropped in on at random times for laundry and chill out times.

When they were young, we both at times needed some space from the relentless "being in charge"...

I used the "upstairs needs dusting" excuse. DH knew that meant I'm taking my cup of tea upstairs for a lie down and I'll be back in half an hour. He used "I'm going to make the beds".

Worked for us.

Newnamefornewyear2023 · 29/01/2023 09:09

Firstly, turn the radio off. My boys are similar ages to yours and loud music was just one thing too much. We don’t do tv time first thing on a Sunday morning as DH takes the older one out to an activity at 9.30 but once they’re out of the door I put the younger one in front of the tv for half an hour and have a bit of quiet

Newnamefornewyear2023 · 29/01/2023 09:10

And/or just take your cup of tea to a different room with instructions that you not be disturbed

GogoGobo · 29/01/2023 09:13

My advice, is book swimming lessons for 9am and alternate taking them with your husband!

JenniferBarkley · 29/01/2023 09:22

Mine are 4 and 2 so a bit younger, but TV works for us. It's not on Monday-Friday (only because we're all out, I know full well that rule would crumble if we were home!) and works like a magic pause button on my DC. Blush So on weekend mornings, they get TV, we sleep in til they wake up and take turns to have very slow showers while the other watches them with a coffee (often from the other room). Lets us all recharge a bit.

Confrontayshunme · 29/01/2023 09:23

I made a rule that Sunday I am "sick" until after I have had my coffee. I wake up then stay in bed while DH brings me coffee. The door stays shut and no one is allowed in until I come out. The "sickness" wears off after 30 mins of quiet. DD10 only just figured out I am fine but just need some rest after a busy week. It is not too much to ask of your family for 30 mins a week. It will take a few weeks to train them all, but at 4 and 6 your kids can do it.

Nowthatlovehasperished · 29/01/2023 09:24

If I were you I would arrange to meet a fried for breakfast every other week.

For what it's worth, I don't think anyone with multiple small children are having serene mornings unless the kids are plugged into screens.

So your choice is :

Go out
Plug them into screens (with headphones).
Put up with the chaos

autienotnaughty · 29/01/2023 09:26

We have layins. I have Saturday, dh gets Sunday until around 930 total peace. Agree I'd either go for a bath or a walk. Or accept the chaos sometimes it's easier to accept than to fight it.

Bernadinetta · 29/01/2023 09:26

MeinKraft · 29/01/2023 08:50

Announce you are going to the bath and don't want to be disturbed. Take your tea.

Reminds me of Mrs Large the elephant in the story Five Minutes Peace 😂

Shopper727 · 29/01/2023 09:28

i have 4 so I get you, had many a morning where I craved peace.

I used to get up earlier and enjoy 30 mins with a cuppa on my own in silence
now they are teens they lie in. So sat with dog in silence eating a crumpet and drinking tea, it’s bliss but you’ve a while to go till then,
take turns with dh? One morning he has ‘peace’ and you deal with it then the next you can go out or whatever we all have to do what we have to do for our sanity