How would you handle this?

[lucie333]

My son hit his cousin (she's 6 he's 3) they were fighting over a toy. I told him off and put him on time out and explained what he did wasn't nice, he said sorry ans gave her a kiss. I want to say as well that said niece can be very sly sometimes I've seen her do things to get a reaction out of my son, but of course I've never said anything because I know kids will be kids! But I always correct his behaviour! But I have received a message from her dad my ex's brother! Asking next time he hits her if we can tell him off because she was upset, I said " I did tell him off and I put him on time out, I also explained we don't hit people we walk away if we feel angry, what more do you want me to do? She wasn't upset when he hit her, she left the house upset because my son got given a ball off their granny and she wanted it!" He replied " I don't want to have to tell her to hit him back because that wouldn't be fair he's only 3" I haven't replied I'm gobsmacked! Is his reaction normal?

You did everything fine, he's 3 there is only so much you can do and he is still learning anyway. You said 6 yo girl can be sly, is it likely shes laid it on thick/twisted what happened when shes told her dad?

@Stressedmum2017
I'm not sure, he was working till 6:30 I got a message at 7oclock I think shes told her mum who has then told him to message me and my sons dad. They are the first ones to laugh when their daughter hits Someone at nursery or when she's bossy, I've never once questioned them but my son is always the bad horrible mean one, when most of the time he is just reacting to what she's doing to him

Response:

“how you raise your daughter is obviously your own choice. I am raising my son not to use violence as a way to respond to unpleasant situations, and will continue to give him the tools and time he needs to learn that, just as I demonstrated earlier today”.

End
Of

Thank you!

I also wouldn't offer to look after their child for a while.

Tell him that if he gets involved in the children's drama every time then you're going to have a lot of friction in future. Because they will squabble, and regularly.

The six year old probably didn’t tell her dad the full story, only that’s she got hit, and the parents saw her crying, and thought it was more serious than it was.

I wouldn't have their 3 year old over again.

I read this wrong first of all and thought your son was the 6yo fighting over a toy with someone who is still practically a baby. Then I realised the 6yo was your niece. I would be very cross if my almost 6yo fought over a toy with a toddler, and would apologise to the parents for that, not act like a twat. If I were you I would give them both barrels - how dare they let their 6yo get away with winding up a toddler and then insinuate they would let her hit him too. Disgusting.

Simply don't have their dc unsupervised without them there...

Wow I would reply something like 'yes that's the right decision to not to tell her to hit him back, he's still a very young child. I think you were mistaken when you thought he wasn't told off. We all make mistakes, don't worry. Us, as adults, know that violence is never the answer'

Stop looking after her. You’ve done the right thing but I imagine she has told her dad an exaggerated version of the incident.

If he doesn't like how you look after his child you should not look after her again.

Easily sorted.

You’re very welcome!

I wouldn’t be opening the door to niece again until they start to parent her.

I’m assuming she lives very nearby as you say she went home.

Time to start speaking up ST THE TIME when your niece is being sly and doing things to your son. Why haven't you said something before? Yes they are kids, kids will be kids as you say but bad behaviour needs called out at the time.