Help me word a reply?

[calmdoon]

I’m in a tricky situation and not sure how to coney or put to words on a message without seeing rude.

I split with v abusive exh father of my now 16 & 18 YO 8 years ago. I was very very close with ex sisters and niece/nephews they all encouraged me to leave and end the marriage. When I did they all stopped speaking to me. No birthday/Christmas cards for my ex from that side of the family.

one of my ex niece (30) MIL used to come to me to get her hair cut at my home salon. She stopped coming to me after the divorce.
fast forward 8 years I am happy, I have a great partner, I have a new house of my own and a hair salon in a local town. I’ve just been listening to my voicemails and ex niece MIL has called me to come to my salon for a cut and colour. I don’t want any of that family anywhere near me or my salon. Do I ignore the message and hope she gets the hint (she asked to come to my house 4 years ago and Ignored several of her texts until she stopped asking) however I then face the risk of her coming into my salon. I actually at one point turned down a wedding hair job because ex niece was a bridesmaid and said to the bride that was why I wasn’t able to do the job, so they know I’m not for entertaining them. But now this. Oh god I’m not good at being put in these situations. I know if I do it ex niece will want to come to me then the ex sil. Jeeez. 🙁do I reply or ignore or if I reply say what?

I would be tempted to let her come and give her a haircut she'll never forget!

Do you have any other staff who could do it?

Nah, I'd double the prices me. They'll only come once

Dear xxx, Thank you for getting in touch, and I hope you are well. I need to be honest and I very much hope you will not take this personally, but I find that I need to keep a complete break between me and anyone connected with ex. As I say, it’s not you, but the memories of a very difficult time in my life make it very hard to be in contact. Thank you for considering me for your custom, but I hope you understand. Best wishes to you…

@determinedtomakethiswork yes I have my cousin working with me however I don’t want any of my ex family setting foot in my salon. I think I’d be a different person in their presence. My work is my territory, my safe space, I worked from home for about 6 years as I was too frightened to leave my house unless I was with someone because of my ex. I wont be myself and would have my guard up as I know stories will be taken back to my ex and I really can’t be bothered with that. The woman is a nice woman but it’s kind of creating an opening for the ex niece to ask

I wouldn't do anything daft.. Just say something like under the circumstances I would prefer you to go to another salon. Hope you find somewhere suitable.

(In other words f off)

@EyesOnThePies perfect! I’ve got myself all stressed and not able to think clearly.

Thank you.

Just seen she is a nice woman. That being the case be nice and say its too difficult for you because of what happened in the past and wish her well.

A nice, but firm message back will be fine.

Hi x, I got your vm about booking in for a cut, I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline your appointment, I hope you get sorted, thanks Calm.