To be a helicopter mum?

[Barbrawalters]

I find myself pulling my dd12 up on so much
I’m always given advice that isn’t asked for and suggesting stuff
I worry about all sorts
constantky checking her social media and asking about stuff
I’m exhausted and starting to realise sge must be tired of me too
I’m so scared of so much like her friendships

do I take a step back and keep my mouth shut and let her make her own mistakes and learn
or do I carry on

what do you do with your tweens?

do I take a step back and keep my mouth shut and let her make her own mistakes and learn

Yes.

Yes take a step back. She needs to learn to make her own mistakes

She’s still quite young, so you need to keep an eye on her obviously, but you have to start cutting the apron strings gradually and trust that all the values you’ve taught her up to now will bear fruit. You do have to back off a bit because if you continue to stifle and mollycoddle her, she won’t develop independently and fully.

Step back. DSD has blossomed since her mum gave her space to fall, to mask mistakes and gave her chance to figure things out before stepping in.
I know it comes from a place of love, I do know.

I’m always given advice that isn’t asked for and suggesting stuff

By 12, she really is an expert in her own feelings. Can you ask her what she thinks she should do, get her range of suggestions?

Thank you for your replies! I had a feeling it would be take a step back lol

i think to be honest for my own mh I’m going to
howdo you guys deal with things like checking social media

I check, DD knows I do. But rarely. DD is still very responsible and I don't allow anything age-inappropriate.

DSD has a smart phone but isn’t on it much, literally 20 mins a day. I don’t know what her mum or dad checks but I assume it’s in hand as she’s not obsessed with it.

My 13 year old DS only has girl friends and even though they are great girls, he often gets left out of things, which seems natural but unfair. Some recent examples have left me feeling heartbroken for him, but I don’t know how to help.

He says he has a male friend in school but the girls aren’t keen so he’s dropped this relationship in favour of the girls. I’m guessing a popular suggestion will be to find out of school activities, but I’ve been trying that since he was 3 and nothing has stuck. That just isn’t a lot of non sports clubs around where we live and he doesn’t like sport much, particularly team sport.