To have second thoughts about relationship

[Scotblue]

I met him a few years ago.
We had so much in common and he was very good to me.
I enjoyed my time with him.

Over the past few years, things changed.

• • Oral hygiene is poor from him.

• He has a poor attitude to sickness.

In that since 2021, he adopted an attitude of sickness will be sick and there's nothing we can do about it and we can't stay in lockdown for ever. He had a chest infection and instead of isolatig for a day or two, he met with loads and we all came down with the same dose he had.

Then last summer, he became unwell over an evening and night. He had nausea and sickness. (I suspect he had more but he didn't tell me).
He said it wasn't covid so he continued to meet with many people including me.
About 30 hours or so after our breakfast date, I became unwell with nausea and vomiting and diarrhoea.
He met with me and he met with other people too but separately. We all came down with the same thing and he was the common denominator.
One person was very ill and had to go to hospital and it was norovirus.
I was so sick over 24 hours and I found it degrading and humiliating. I was vomiting and shitting myself all at the same time. There was a time when I didn't even make it to the toilet. I was so sick and I had to turn around and clean up when I was so weak. Then when I thought I was over it and the sickness was easing and finally my sick body was finally going to let me sleep, I shat my pants in my bed.
It was an awful 24 hours and if I lived in a 2 story building or more, I would have jumped to end it all. I can't believe he passed that dose on.
He wrote it off by saying it wasn't covid.
I never expected him to isolate for an eternity but I think he should have isolated for 24 hours and just let it pass through him.
When I had the infection I isolated and I never passed it onto my close contacts in work or family because I isolated. He just has such a poor attitude.

• He has a horrible attitude towards cyclists on the road. He has no patience whatsoever when it comes to cyclists on the road. He has an attitude that they don't belong on the road because they don't pay car tax. I don't like that attitude because its small minded. We don't know them. Maybe they do own a car and pay tax but they are also out cycling for the day.

He gets angry when he's stuck behind cyclists. I don't like that either.

AIBU to have second thoughts about this relationship?

Sounds like it's time to move on, you don't sound compatible.

He sounds like a dirty disgusting pig and that you would want o be around him at all reflects really poorly on you and your standards.

Dump him and do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk so that you can find your self respect and develop boundaries.

I think "I was really sick" would have been fine here.

Guy sounds like a knob obviously.

You would have jumped to end it all because you had the shits? As much as he sounds horrible, you sound extremely dramatic. You don't sound compatible.

I'm more worried about your suicidal tendencies.. If you genuinely did feel like that seek mental health support, if you didn't don't use suicide as a dramatic aid

In fairness I had a dreadful dose of diarrhoea and vomiting nearly 30 years ago in SE Asia whilst travelling and I honestly was so ill if someone had offered to put me out of my misery I would probably have taken the option.

I was only semi conscious for a couple of days and was completely dependent on the huge kindness of the people in the little local hotel I was staying in.

Never forget it.
Never had it before or since.

My stomach was fragile for weeks afterwards.

If you don't like him anymore that is fine but the sickness thing is weird from both of you and clearly at opposite ends of the scale.

AIBU to have second thoughts about this relationship?

Not sure I'm reading any positives from what you have described, In fact it sounds as if you might have 'the ick'

No coming back from 'the ick'

I know I'm biased, though. I couldn't get past poor oral hygiene.