What do I do?

[stuck21]

My wife's sex drive is all over the place.

She's now started having panic attacks when I suggest sex after we had a row about the lack of it in our marriage the other day.

I don't know what to do. We've had arguments about it before and she's told me I need to be more loving in my approach but I still get rejected even when I try that. Then when I back off she gets insulted that I'm not trying hard enough and that I'm clearly not attracted to her.

Very occasionally we will have sex two or three times in a week and I think we're getting back on track and then it all stops again.

It's pushing me away. Not that I would but I can really start to see why people have affairs when they are facing rejection so much at home.

AIBU to just want some sex in my marriage?!

Have any of you gone through similar issues? What do I do?!

1. offering to help around the house and take over with the kids
   Don’t ‘offer’ to ‘help’. You’re not ‘helping’ if you have to ask what needs to be done or whether you should do it. Just step up and do it. It’s your role to parent, it’s your role to share chores - just do it.

2. I just don't ever feel like I get anything in return.
   So she doesn’t also do chores and parent? Or do you mean she doesn’t offer you sex in return? Why should she? You didn’t buy sex from her for doing chores around the house or taking the kids to the park. She doesn’t owe you anything for you being a parent and partner, it doesn’t work like that.

3. Your partner is having panic attacks. Something’s not right. Put sex completely to the side for the moment. Maybe counselling will help.

Let me get this straight… ‘’I never get anything in return’’ means you expect sex as payment for you doing household chores and looking after YOUR kids? 😂😂😂

So transactional. I wouldn’t shag you either and I don’t blame her.

Also, since she’s having panic attacks I strongly suspect there’s more to this story than you’re letting on.

Once you are home from work kids and household jobs should be 50 50. Fucks sake.

What is it that your wife "takes" from you, exactly?