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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fake colleague/friend

19 replies

Bluevelvetcake4 · 28/01/2023 08:46

I have a colleague who I was ‘friends’ with or at least I thought I was for many years. Just before I went on mat leave my whole team who I had worked with for a decade left to go another company. She left without saying a word to me and instead other colleagues who I was less friendly with kept me updated on what was happening, which I appreciated. I contacted her once after that to check how she was doing but she never reached out to me throughout my mat leave or after I returned to work (to a team which obviously looked completely different to what I had been used to) to check if I was doing ok. Anyway now that I’ve changed jobs and work for a client she suddenly wants to keep in touch and I don’t really feel like it. I’ve tried to make it clear by being polite and professional in emails but not really engaging with requests to meet up but she’s quite persistent. I know she’s very good at being ‘friendly’ when she needs to be and I don’t want to get sucked into that with someone who I feel is only interested now there’s a business reason.

OP posts:
neverknowinglyunreasonable · 28/01/2023 08:49

What's the question? Just ignore them.

britneybitch23 · 28/01/2023 08:49

Just ignore her. Or keep putting her off saying you're busy with your child. Say you'll get back to her when you can each time then don't when she chases you say the same thing. Deffo don't meet up with her because she keeps pushing!!

Lucylock · 28/01/2023 08:55

Just keep doing what you're doing. She sounds like a user.

Keyansier · 28/01/2023 09:46

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Purplebiscuitwithsprinkles · 28/01/2023 11:27

OP keep doing what your doing you don't need users in your life nobody does.

@Keyansier ??? What a bizarre thing to say.

heartbroken22 · 28/01/2023 12:42

Just avoid her and keep your distance.

heartbroken22 · 28/01/2023 12:43

@Keyansier are you sure you're not misplacing your anger today? Wrong thread maybe?

catandcoffee · 28/01/2023 12:53

Why don't you just tell her the reason why you're not interested.

Why would you let her treat you like this ?

She didn't care about you at all. Stop being nice OP she doesn't deserve it.

ICanHideButICantRun · 28/01/2023 13:02

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Why do you say that? Absolutely nothing the OP has said indicates this.

Keyansier · 28/01/2023 18:12

ICanHideButICantRun · 28/01/2023 13:02

Why do you say that? Absolutely nothing the OP has said indicates this.

Sorry if you don't agree with me. It's just how I personally saw the situation.

ToTheMax0 · 28/01/2023 18:27

@Keyansier You seem to go on every thread with the intention of making the OP feel bad, maybe find another hobby.

OP, unfortunately colleagues on the whole can be very fake. I would just leave her well alone. People can be weird.

DuplicateUserName · 28/01/2023 18:29

Keyansier · 28/01/2023 18:12

Sorry if you don't agree with me. It's just how I personally saw the situation.

Yeah but you haven't said why or even so much as hinted at it?

drpet49 · 28/01/2023 18:31

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@Keyansier are you on glue or something?

Grapewrath · 28/01/2023 18:33

Just ignore her emails, don’t even be polite.

SnarkyBag · 28/01/2023 18:35

heartbroken22 · 28/01/2023 12:43

@Keyansier are you sure you're not misplacing your anger today? Wrong thread maybe?

Nah just a persistent thread derailer. Ignore they’re tedious.

Hello12345678910 · 28/01/2023 18:39

Yeah ignore

Christmaspyjamas · 28/01/2023 18:44

I don't think you can ignore her because there's a business connection.

But you can ignore her other than on your work email address and ignore anything non business related.

She will give up quickly I'd guess.

GirlsNightOut33 · 28/01/2023 18:53

You described her as a colleague who you thought was a friend..so, were you friends or just friendly work colleagues? Did you meet before working together? Meet up outside work ? Go for coffee outside of work hours? Know each others personal life?

GirlsNightOut33 · 28/01/2023 18:54

.. would she have described herself as a friend too? Or just a colleague you got along with at a very tumultuous time professionally (moving companies)

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