My partner and I both work and I’m at university but feel like he isn’t helping enough

[Rhaych2003]

My son is 8 months old. I’m at university one day per week and the rest is online, a lot of work though, I also work in a care home. My partner just started a new job at a factory, 3pm-11pm. He does the night feeds then does nothin else for the rest of the day. Since he does nights, I do mornings. So son wakes up about 6-7am and i get him up, fed, dressed. My partner gets up for a few hours but doesn’t help with baby, mostly everything is already done. Partner then gets to have a 2 hour nap before his shift starts. Baby normally asleep when he comes in and he does night feeds and then I’m up again all over at 6-7am to do the full day alone

it feels like his tiredness is prioritised when it’s me who worked till the end of my pregnancy as he didn’t work and couldn’t provide despite given multiple changes. It’s me who paid for everything up until now. It’s me who feeds the baby all day, changes him, comforts him, which I love doing.

am I being unreasonable for wanting abit of a break and help during the day?? I understand in most cases dads sleep is priority if he works, but in this case we both work and I also do university which is contributing to our future.

I do all the housework, when he’s done the night feeds I wake up with 4 bottles to sterilise

I agree he should help with the house work, but he does all the night feeds then works 3-11. You work too, so presumably the only time both parents are in the house together is between 11pm and 8am ISH? He does all night and you do the mornings. If the baby is then in childcare while you work I'm not really sure what the problem is?

What, why are you assuming the hours I work?? No. Sometimes I start work at 7am, sometimes I start at 2pm, 3pm. And I’m never at work too long. He’s never home 11pm as he’s at work then or at gym. The problem is he’s not helping at all during the day even when he’s not at work. Baring in mind he only started this job last week. Before that he was unemployed and lazed around in bed all day or played video games. So please don’t make assumptions before asking. My shifts are short also.

OK. So slightly different take if he's been unemployed and doing nothing.

Given the information you provided it was logical to assume that he was doing a full day childcare and then going to work.

How were domestic chores split before the baby?

So are you part time? Is he? You've left a lot of important details out of your thread so it's difficult to advise. If you are part time and him full time then yes I would expect you to take on more childcare/housework (although of course not all of it).