To find ‘best friendships’ so frustrating?

[McBoatyFace]

AIBU to dislike the concept of ‘best friends’? I don’t understand why parents encourage their children (usually girls) to have one best friend who they do everything with.

My daughter has constantly been the third wheel to kids like this, there when their mate is off sick, there when they fall out, and dropped like a stone when their parents (who usually are also best friends) are having a spate of socials outside of school. A mum recently told me they even sit their kids down and try and get them to resolve their issues together. AIBU to think ‘best friends’ is frustrating and short-sighted?

I never encouraged it, but it did just seem to naturally happen in primary school. Now they're both a secondary, they seem to have more mates, but no best friends specifically.

Looking back to when I was at school, it was the same. Best friends in primary, group of friends in secondary, bunch of mates in college.

I think it will naturally get better as they get older.

Yep I find this odd too. I remember at nursery my DS had a lower score on one of his goals because he didn't have a best friend. I mean wtf? There again it definitely wasn't a girl thing and it was something that must be part of the EYFS curriculum to monitor development so maybe it is important in that regard 🤷🏻‍♀️

Do parents encourage that? I have never had any involvement any of my kids friendships; if they have a best friend they chose them themselves.

Do you mean only children shouldn't have best friends or does that include adults too?

@CuntyMcBollocks I’d imagine by time you’re an adult, you have the people who are around you and if you want to call someone your best friend, you can?? I don’t know, I still wince at the term, even when adults say it. I’m talking about kids at primary and secondary who stick together like glue and do everything together.

@FloofyDuck See this is it, this ‘best friend culture’ we seem to have. I find it so weird.

Yeah I’m with you. My eldest is that child too but I keep telling her it’s better this way and actually now she has a good group of pals.

my youngest has a best friend and I think it’s horribly intense. I’m always trying to widen her group a little bit.

@blubberball so our secondary school let kids choose their best friends to go into a class with in Yr 7 due to pandemic! So it’s an ongoing thing, kids not branching out.

I agree. I've spoken about it with my DD many times.

Her closest friend goes to a different school, and obviously has other friends so we have to talk about this quite a bit.

She has also just started secondary as has become a third wheel to a pair who have been best friends for years at primary.

She understands but it's hard to deal with the emotions sometimes.

Children should choose who and how many they want to be friends with. However, personally I'm happy for my daughters to have a close friend within their friendship groups.

Often groups of friends don't provide the same as a close friend does.

I'm don't encourage it. My dd has a lot of 'best friends' they change a lot as to how she refers to them but they all seem to be close and I prefer that