To apply for bursary at an independent school?

[expokittens]

Household income is just over £70K. We have two cars on mortgage, go on holiday 3 times a year (but we try to make them budget hols), like to go to the theatre a lot and eat out. House mortgage £1200 pm.

The school charges £7K per term.

Anyone in a similar situation who was successful with their bursary application? Would they look at our spendings and turn us down?

We were literally asked if the OP was being unreasonable to apply for a bursary hence people giving their opinions. You may not agree with those opinions but it's surely the point of the thread.

There are private schools that give bursaries to people in the exact position that the OP is in. And some qualify with incomes over 70k. And yes you can qualify whilst having holidays, it all depends on cost.
Lots of private schools offer bursaries & many want to as it's good PR. The OP is not depriving anyone less privileged by applying, why would you even think that?

@Shoogly my understanding is the OP was asking if people in similar circumstances had applied?

"Anyone in a similar situation who was successful with their bursary application?"

Of course people have different opinions & can give them, doesn't mean some aren't stupid though.

I wouldn't know if anyone else was being deprived a place and nor would you, unless you're the admissions officer of the school? Personally, I don't think bursaries should be awarded to people who could afford the fees but choose a lifestyle that doesn't allow it. I think bursaries should go to people who could not make that financial stretch.

Agreed, for what it's worth I think your contributions have been stupid.

@Shoogly I used to work as a bursar so I know how it works. You access the children who have applied. You don't decline all bursaries because there may be other children who haven't applied but need it more.

Personally, I don't think bursaries should be awarded to people who could afford the fees but choose a lifestyle that doesn't allow it.

How can you possible assume that? It depends on individual circumstances & the school. A 70k income doesn't mean you can afford fees. A holiday doesn't mean you aren't entitled to a discount.

@Shoogly you might think they are stupid but as someone with professional & personal experience they are accurate....

It's not only a question of right and wrong. I'm sure you are right and their are bursaries awarded to families with similar circumstances to the OP. I stand by my belief that bursaries should go to children with no other way of accessing that school. Anyway, I'm out now, and have no skin in the game since my kids are state educated. I will say though that if I was a parent at at fee-paying school I'd be pretty pissed off if my fees were subsidising someone else's choice to work part time or lifestyle. I'd rather my money was channelled more thoughtfully, either to a pupil from a more deprived background or just back into the school.

It's not only a question of right and wrong.

Well in terms of the question the OP asked the correct answer is she may qualify as it depends on the school.

She posted on AIBU. It's not a binary answer. I think she's unreasonable, you don't...

I agree

So you've had enough income to afford three holidays a year up until now, but you chose not to save and you think it's OK to ask other parents to subsidise your kids' school fees from now on? Wow.

One of the marks in the “against” column when we were considering private school was that the fees which we would be paying weren’t paying only for our own children, but a chunk was to fund people like you.

It just seemed ridiculous that we were being asked to take money we’d worked for to in effect give to families who were still on a good wage, just a lower one than ours.

Still, of course, you have every right to apply.

A lot of schools have their policies for bursaries published. Ideally you’d want to get the policy for the schools you’re interested but a quick Google brought this one up as an example which is really strict and also talks about releasing equity in a home.

Acknowledging that others might have a different view, the School considers that the following would not be consistent with the receipt of a bursary:
*Frequent or expensive holidays.
*New, luxury or superfluous cars.
*Investment in significant home improvements.
*second property/land holdings

But.. This one for instance at St Paul’s is surprisingly generous at higher income levels.

www.stpaulsschool.org.uk/admissions/bursaries-assistance-with-fees/bursaries-faqs/

@safeplanet I answered yabu based on my knowledge & experience. When we decided we had to move DD to private I went back to ft work & we forfeited our second holiday..it didn't cross my mind to look into what hand ours might have been available. Likewise I was delighted when a widowed friend's dd got a full bursary. I just don't understand this sense of entitlement some people have but I admire the OP's honestly about her situation.. & thanks for your delightful fury at mine!

Thank you, I understand those who feel against a household like us applying for a bursary and that's perfectly a valid point.

I will look into a few schools and at least have a go, if my son is keen. I haven't had the chance to speak to him yet as I'm new to this and need to research a little further.

I am ever so grateful for all your posts. Vat discussion is also interesting and it is certainly something we would have to keep in mind.

If we are not eligible for bursary I will also look into applying for a full time job, although I'm not sure how that might work out.

I’ve been trying to convince my father in law to convince his daughter to put her 7yo forward for a bursary when the time comes. She is bright and articulate but lives in a council flat with both parents on benefits and will have very little prospects otherwise. Sadly, the family are prejudiced against private education and are very narrow minded in their (working class) views. These are the people bursaries should be given to, but people like this will rarely apply or even be aware of funded private school places. So I don’t blame OP for wanting to apply to better her child’s future and she might well be successful! Because the most deserving people will rarely bother. Sad, but true.

@POLLYprosecco1 - you mean it’s your SIL who you want to persuade?

Would it be impossible to write She is bright and articulate and lives in a council flat with both parents? Obviously we haven’t met your in-laws but are you not at all conscious of sounding, yourself, somewhat narrow minded and prejudiced? Or is it the law that anyone living in council housing in receipt of benefits must be incapable of offering their child a supportive upbringing?

I’m quite vociferous in wanting as wide a range of people as possible to comprehend the accessibility of large bursaries and their potential to enhance life chances. But I don’t think people are necessarily stupid and narrow minded if they don’t see it that way.

Moving a child from an un-moneyed background to an independent school really requires the support and encouragement of at least their whole nuclear family. You may need to make friends with your SIL first - and appreciate her point of view.

(I do understand the child is your SIL’s daughter!)

@purplerain100 why is it entitled to apply for something if you fit the criteria?

@Shoogly I don't understand why it's unreasonable to apply for something if you fulfil the criteria?

@RandomersAssociation thank you for correcting me!

Of course it requires the whole family’s agreement and encouragement but sadly when I first mentioned it to them, the idea got rejected due to inverse snobbery. I’m not narrow minded - but just relating the facts. The least privileged in society barely know about bursaries, and then when they do, generally, they are reluctant to apply.

I went to private school and there was v little prejudice there against the children there who were on bursaries or assisted places. They were often indistinguishable.

Not sure why your tone is so aggressive towards my post. But I come from a frustrated stance knowing that private education could really benefit this little girl. For what it’s worth, I do get on with my sister-in-law but we are not close because we live 300 miles apart.

@RandomersAssociation also - when did I call anyone stupid???

@RandomersAssociation and also when did I say that people in council houses are not capable of providing people with a supportive upbringing? My husband had a very supportive upbringing! You have literally taken my post and twisted it!

The least privileged in society barely know about bursaries, and then when they do, generally, they are reluctant to apply.

I agree with this, many aren't aware of what's available. Are private schools as socially inclusive as they should be? no. I just think that's a separate point to whether the OP should apply or not. After all the OP not applying is not going to change the system in any way.

Plenty of excellent London state primaries have roads surrounding them where it costs 1m plus for a house. Are those parents wrong for taking a school place from less privileged children who can't afford to live in the catchment?