Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Chatting with another woman online

12 replies

SidSparrow · 27/01/2023 19:19

I have trust issues with DP - when we were first seeing each other I found out he had been on Craigslist looking for other women to chat to. We had been long distance at the time and it was very early on in our relationship - first few weeks. Not that it excuses it. I was madly in love with him, and I let it slide with a strong warning that if it happened again we'd be over.

Anyway, we're 6 years on and now with 2 DCs, and no repeat of what happened. However, today I bought him a reflective top for running in. No big deal. Then I went out to the shops, came back early as I had forgotten something and seen him through the window sending a picture of himself in the new tshirt. I felt something was off. So I asked him about it, I insisted that he pull up the chat window. He did, it was to an old female friend of his and it said ' 'me' bought me a stupid fn tshirt haha'. I started scrolling up to see what else he was saying and sending, and he switched the screen off.

He claims it's an old friend, nothing sexual. And he has mentioned this friend before. But why is he waiting until I'm out the door to message her? Why is he sending another woman a picture of himself? And why did he switch the screen off?

Now I don't know what to do. Am I over reacting? Or is he down playing it? I don't know how we continue with this lack of trust.

OP posts:
Pleasecreateausername13 · 27/01/2023 19:21

BIN HIM OFF.

dustofneptune · 27/01/2023 19:24

He's no good. Regardless of what he's doing, you don't trust him. Regardless of whether he's playing around, he's disrespectful.

If my partner bought me something, no fucking way would I ridicule it to anyone.

I wouldn't want to be with him.

AnyFucker · 27/01/2023 19:26

Don’t be a mug

mamabear715 · 27/01/2023 19:27

Sadly, I agree with PP's.

ImBlueDab · 27/01/2023 19:29

Oh nice, so you did something thoughtful for him, and he slagged it off to another woman he's talking to - bin him

OnlyFannys · 27/01/2023 19:33

ImBlueDab · 27/01/2023 19:29

Oh nice, so you did something thoughtful for him, and he slagged it off to another woman he's talking to - bin him

This, what a cock end

Frenda · 27/01/2023 19:33

OP, I had a similar situation with my DP in our relationship (messaging other women, it was something he'd done for many years even prior to meeting me). I too was madly in love and decided to forgive him. To my knowledge he has never done anything to disrespect me again, I told him I would leave him if I even had the suspicion that anything was going on, and I mean that.

My DP is open and transparent with his phone. I can access it at any time. I know the passwords to everything. He often invites me to look at his chats. He comes to me straight away if he gets any messages, even benign ones from exes or women trying to reconnect that he hasn't spoken to in years. I cannot imagine a scenario where he would deny me reading a chat with anyone, given our history.

I'm afraid, in your position, I'd be leaving.

Shoxfordian · 27/01/2023 19:34

He’s probably been talking to these women the whole time, how can you trust him?

Humptydumptyfellapart · 27/01/2023 19:35

ImBlueDab · 27/01/2023 19:29

Oh nice, so you did something thoughtful for him, and he slagged it off to another woman he's talking to - bin him

This with 🔔s on

SavoirFlair · 27/01/2023 19:35

This guy is taking the piss

Thedogscollar · 27/01/2023 19:36

Humptydumptyfellapart · 27/01/2023 19:35

This with 🔔s on

100% agree with this. What a shit.

BunsenBurnerBaby · 27/01/2023 19:42

If my DH expressed any concern about any of my convos with people on whatever platform I would give him full access to show him he has nothing to worry about. I think that’s what any respectful partner would do. (I wouldn’t expect him to monitor me after that, but would be v happy to allay fears). But then there is nothing even remotely dubious in any of my chats …

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread