What to do about DH and illness?

[Sqqueeeeeeee]

DH has become increasingly unwell over the past five or so years. Recently, there was an incident and the doctors are now almost certain that they know what the problem is and how to fix it. We’re awaiting results to confirm but that’s largely an NHS technicality at this point. DH doesn’t want to talk about it, and he doesn’t want me to tell anyone about it. He has a right to his medical privacy, but I’m really struggling to deal with the weight of it on my own.

I also have my own medical problems. I’m under a cancer investigation and every sign so far isn’t looking good. I’m scared. DH still doesn’t want to talk about it, he says it scares him too.

How do I handle this?

Would help to know what the problem may be

Unfortunately, you have to respect your husband's choices. Not all of us wish to discuss our health.

I really think you should respect him not wanting to share information at the moment, a new diagnosis is hard to cope with,

I think you have to respect his wishes about his own health, but it's too bad (although understandable) that it scares him when you talk about your own health worries. Ask the gp if you can speak to a counsellor, it sounds like you need someone to talk to. Also if there are any charities for the condition your husband has (or yours!), you could look for their helpline. Good luck with it all - I hope it turns out well. 💐

Do you work? If so, does your employer have an employee assistance program? They offer confidential counselling which you may be able to assess quickly to talk through the feelings that you are experiencing.

Speak to someone like Macmillan, you can talk about everything that is worrying you without breaking your husband's confidence.