Colleagues all think I need more confidence

6 replies

colle · 27/01/2023 13:29

I had my end of year review earlier this week and as part of it we receive constructive feedback from our colleagues, as well as our manager.

My feedback was overall positive, but for the constructive 'how to improve' part every single one of my colleagues said the same thing: to have more confidence.

I do agree with their feedback, but I felt a bit vulnerable and embarrassed about it. I am a shy member of the team, but my confidence has improved a lot recently. I know they are saying it with kindness, but it was a bit upsetting to hear... It's obviously a recurring problem in my job for multiple colleagues to bring it up across my different teams.

I'm not really sure how to go about changing/addressing this. I know I can ask my manager for advice but it seems like more of a personal/'me' issue rather than something I can ask my manager for advice on... I am in my 20s but so are all of my other colleagues, so it's not like I'm the youngest and newest member of the team.

OP posts:

Mabelface · 27/01/2023 13:36

Talk to your manager. Ask for specifics. How will they support you and do they have any SMART goals for you? It's a bit shit of them to just say get more confident without any support.

MargaretThursday · 27/01/2023 13:37

I'd say if people are saying you need more confidence they're saying that they want to hear more from you and you are doing well.
If you weren't confident but were being a pain, they wouldn't say that!

So use that to give you confidence. (easier said than done!)

pippistrelle · 27/01/2023 13:37

I think you're misunderstanding what your colleagues are saying. It's not a case of 'this is a problem you must fix', more like, 'you're very good and we wish to understood that'.

If your OP is anything to go by, maybe you have a habit of putting yourself down. And there's no need for it.

SleeplessInEngland · 27/01/2023 13:39

Well this paragraph seems to be proving their point.

BlueHexagon · 27/01/2023 13:43

I agree with @pippistrelle . They mean "we know colle's great, we wish she believed that herself".

You could ask for some training? Several people have recommended Upfront to me (although I haven't done it myself).

Original poster

colle · 27/01/2023 20:57

Is it something my manager would be able to help with? I'm not really sure how to improve my confidence. I'm always convinced I'm going to be fired lol

OP posts:

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