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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how long to wait to get an offer from private school?

17 replies

Whereistherat · 26/01/2023 20:18

DD (5) in Reception had a taster day at a local prep last Friday. She absolutely loved it.

The school haven't come back to me yet re some feedback or an offer (or rejection). I've been agonising about it all week. I called the school today but they said they've been busy and haven't had a chance to discuss any admission applications.

I'm dreading a rejection as my DD would be devastated. It's an amazing school, out of this world facilities, lots of greenery, small class sizes and very friendly.

If anyone has had an experience with this, AIBU to ask a few questions?

  • how long does it take to get an offer after a taster day?

  • is there a chance we might get a rejection? I know they have quite a few places in Reception at the moment.

  • will I get any feedback about DD: how she got on on the day, how she behaved etc. Would it be reasonable for me to expect a detailed feedback?

I should say we paid a non-refundable £100 registration fee before the taster day and I provided DD's latest school report beforehand.

Thank you

OP posts:
Mysmallgarden · 26/01/2023 20:23

You should get an answer before the end of the month for a September start date.

Original poster
Whereistherat · 26/01/2023 20:25

@Mysmallgarden We are applying for a place in Reception summer term now, 2023.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whereistherat · 26/01/2023 20:28

I've no experience with this so I thought the offer would come pretty quickly, but I do realise now I'm probably unreasonable.

OP posts:
Any1Else · 26/01/2023 20:30

I have no experience of applying for Reception - but the prep schools I’ve had dealings with can take months to decide.

They might have been astonished when you demanded an answer after less than a week!

At Reception level I’d imagine acceptance and rejection depend on how oversubscribed they are (if at all) and whether they aspire to be selective or not. Usually they will want biddable, alert children who are well socialised and can follow instructions.

It would not be reasonable to expect detailed feedback. It’s a presumably busy school - not therapy. The process is to help them, not you.

And no, you really don’t need to say you paid a non-refundable £100 registration fee before the taster day and I provided DD's latest school report beforehand. How does that make you any different to anyone else who has applied? I’m afraid it doesn’t guarantee you a place.

MintJulia · 26/01/2023 20:31

My ds's school (small independent) came back with an offer within 10 days.

PeekAtYou · 26/01/2023 20:32

It depends how many children they are assessing and how many places they have. 2 children for 1 space then I would hope to hear by half term but big numbers would mean a bigger wait as they probably don't assess kids on consecutive days.

BigMadAdrian · 26/01/2023 20:33

We heard the Monday after a Friday taster day. The head called me. All schools are different, I guess.

Original poster
Whereistherat · 26/01/2023 20:35

@Any1Else

'And no, you really don’t need to say you paid a non-refundable £100 registration fee before the taster day and I provided DD's latest school report beforehand. How does that make you any different to anyone else who has applied? I’m afraid it doesn’t guarantee you a place'

I think you misunderstood what I said in re to paying the £100. Of course I wouldn't expect to get a place just because I paid this fee or that it makes me different to anyone else. I put that info for context, I should probably have left it out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whereistherat · 26/01/2023 20:38

BigMadAdrian · 26/01/2023 20:33

We heard the Monday after a Friday taster day. The head called me. All schools are different, I guess.

Yes, I thought we get some sort of answer pretty quickly considering we want to move in this school year and they do have quite a few places, but I guess they are all different.

OP posts:
Any1Else · 26/01/2023 20:41

Sorry if I sounded a bit impatient! Registration fees and provision of a school report are absolutely standard when applying to an independent school - so if you mention them specifically it implies that you think they form part of an argument or give extra weight to your application. Which they don’t, of course.

Original poster
Whereistherat · 26/01/2023 20:47

Any1Else · 26/01/2023 20:41

Sorry if I sounded a bit impatient! Registration fees and provision of a school report are absolutely standard when applying to an independent school - so if you mention them specifically it implies that you think they form part of an argument or give extra weight to your application. Which they don’t, of course.

English is not my first language so perhaps I formulated it wrong. Of course the fee makes no difference in whether we get a place or not. But I thought maybe some feedback (especially if we get a rejection) would be very helpful.

Like I mentioned above I have no experience with this at all so trying to manage my expectations. I know all schools are different.

OP posts:
smoosandsmed · 26/01/2023 20:51

We found out pretty fast; few days. But very small prep school.

Tearsofthemushroom · 26/01/2023 20:54

It depends on how busy the admissions department is at any time. We try to go back in a couple of days but they will have to get feedback from staff and pass everything by the head so that can all take time. If it isn’t a selective school and they have plenty of space you probably don’t need to worry unless there are behavioural issues or she is behind.

Any1Else · 26/01/2023 20:57

@Whereistherat you say I'm dreading a rejection as my DD would be devastated. This is a bit worrying! It’s your job to make the application process an interesting adventure for your daughter - not life or death.

Do you have one or more back up schools? Will she stay at her current school if she doesn’t get in? I know it’s nerve-wracking, but you have to show her that this school is just one great option amongst many. You might secretly be on tenterhooks but she shouldn’t be.

Original poster
Whereistherat · 26/01/2023 21:01

Thank you all. I've calmed down a bit as I realise it's not unusual to wait for at least a week or longer.

They are not super selective as far as I'm aware but they do assess the kids in terms of behaviour/potential etc. I don't know anyone who's got kids at this particular school and so I'm not able to get any info on how they 'operate'.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whereistherat · 26/01/2023 21:14

Any1Else · 26/01/2023 20:57

@Whereistherat you say I'm dreading a rejection as my DD would be devastated. This is a bit worrying! It’s your job to make the application process an interesting adventure for your daughter - not life or death.

Do you have one or more back up schools? Will she stay at her current school if she doesn’t get in? I know it’s nerve-wracking, but you have to show her that this school is just one great option amongst many. You might secretly be on tenterhooks but she shouldn’t be.

I don't talk to DD much about this school to be fair. She said she loved it and she'd love to go back there one day.

One thing I'm not happy about is that when she went back to her school on Mon a few teachers asked her how she got on at the 'other' school, whether she liked it and so on. One of the teachers is actually from a different class and they made such a big deal out of it. She apparently had a friend working there and she also knew a pupil. I don't think that's very professional in my opinion. (When I booked the taster day I only emailed the school office and I hoped this will be kept between her class teachers and not be discussed with other teachers or DD).

I personally don't have any private school back up for her as no other school compares to this one in terms of facilities, curriculum, good behaviour etc.

If she doesn't get in, she'll stay at her current state school which is not ideal but she'll be fine.

OP posts:
WorriedMillie · 26/01/2023 21:16

Y5 entry, we heard about three days after DD sat the exam. They’d already requested info from her then current school

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