Do your parents ever bitch/complain about you?

[Isthisamidlifething]

Just wondering what’s considered *Normal? I’m a sensitive person really, so get upset if someone bitches about me.
Just thinking back on things I’ve overheard my mum say to my dad, don’t know if it would be considered bitching really, but still didn’t make me feel great.
Do parents do this? Can’t imagine being like that when my dd is older

I would be exceptionally surprised if they didn't, because EVERYONE has the potential to piss you off or upset you and you need to talk to someone about it

People moan about their spouses, their parents, their in laws, their siblings, their friends, their work colleagues, why would their kids be any different? (Particularly when they are teenagers and stomping around telling you how much they hate you/how stupid you are/how you embarrass them/how life isn't fair....)

Yes, loads. And my children, their grandchildren, so much so that I told them what horrible people they were and cut them off for over three years. I think it frightened them to be honest. They’d always done it - highly critical and judgmental parenting style - and it was so habitual that they thought they could do it to my children too. They may do it behind my back now I guess, but they’re careful not to show any negativity towards us because they know I mean business.

They're not here now, but I'd be very surprised if they hadn't. As I do about my DC. Its not 'bitching' though, its moaning to a safe person who loves them as much as I do and knows that in most relationships you get irritated and need to let off steam.

@BethDuttonsTwin What things did they say?

Do you never say to your partner that your DD has been a nightmare/driven you mad? It's the same thing, just the things they annoy you with are different.

oh they do. They talk about me but won't talk to me.

Were you meant to overhear it? Because if not, then, per RuPaul, what other people think about you is none of your business.

We all have a moan about other people now and then, even people we love. It doesn't necessarily define the relationship.

So rainbows and sunshine are always coming out of your backside then?

Of course parents bitch about their kids. About as much as kids bitch about their parents, I’d expect.

Oh, all the time. I got a satisfaction out of it because they liked giving themselves airs over how wonderful they were for being parents and how brilliant they were at it (they weren't). Seeing the mask crack as they showed their true colours was very enjoyable.

Maybe I’m a bit weird, but I don’t bitch about close relatives and friends. The only person I bitch about is my SIL (brothers wife) because she started being vile towards me last year out of nowhere and I found she bitches about me for petty things regularly to my own mother (that’s a whole other story), before that I never said I negative word about her out of loyalty (which was obviously misplaced!).

Yes, that’s why we are not very close.

Mine did when I was younger and it really affected my relationship with them. My dad in particular was just horrible. I didn't / don't mind if they talk about me without me knowing but they did it openly or would refer to having done it to me. I really distanced myself from them and in my 20s they started wanting a good relationship so packed in the bitching. We get on fine now but will never be really close.

My Dad (& my Mum when she was around) constantly bitched about my brother & I never engaged because I’m 100% sure they were bitching to him about me.

I’ve felt judged (behind my back & to my face) by then my entire life.

Eye rolling and looking at each other and other family members, with cats bum mouths for perfectly normal child behaviour. Moaning about my children’s behaviour to each other and other family members. Criticising my parenting, constantly. Shouting at my children. We only saw them about three times a year for a weekend and they couldn’t even be positive towards me and my children then. Huffs and sighs when I asked them not to salt my toddlers food, or when I loved medication out of his reach or moved him away from hot pans. I called them once and when the call ended they didn’t put the phone down properly and I heard them talking about useless I was and how I was never grateful for anything. When my first child was suspected of having autism - later diagnosed - they sneered and smirked and said to others who told me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him and it was clearly my parenting that was the issue etc etc. It sss unbearable tbh but they’d always been like that so I shouldn’t have been surprised when they started on my children.

Oh and telling everyone I was ridiculously over protective when I wouldn’t leave my two year old out in a massive front garden alone 🙄

Mine bitched about me all over the internet!

I think sounding off is normal. I talk to my sister or friends about my dc and they talk about their kids and spouses.

Perfectly normal

Sure it happens a lot. Make up quick.

My parents and me had a row yesterday and it was in a ‘close bed’ bay, I was telling them nothing was wrong, how bad did I end up feeling.

Gutted for my parents couldn’t sum it up. To have both of their children land up with spinal problems.

I'd be astonished if they didn't.

My parents are humans

Probably. My mother and grandmother love to comment on other people's weight/size/body shape as well as the state of their homes and so on, but never to their faces. I would put money on me getting exactly the same as soon as my back is turned.

I can’t imagine it. express frustration or concern, maybe. But not bitching in a nasty way.

I'm pretty sure everyone has a bitch about those they love sometimes.

I'm in my 70s and I can remember walking into a row between my parents about me when I was about ten.

Mum: her problem is she's so stubborn, just like you.

Dad: no, her problem is she always thinks she's right, just like you.

I've even had a quick moan about my much loved daughter to trusted friends. And I'd be shocked if she hasn't done the same. it doesn't mean, in any way, that we don't love each other.

And, by the way, my Mum and Dad were completely correct about me. I'm still the same, 60 years later.

Yes, and I'm no contact with them now. Mum often told me that I was a pain the the arse and too nice when I was a child. My father once complained to my mother that I looked like a slut when I was 14 and wearing a sliver of black eyeliner. We were in the car and they both started in on me.

They were never happy and very authoritarian parents.

I'm now happily married to a man who loves me just as I am.

Yep mine did/does. Heard her telling my nct colleagues that I only breastfed this long (a year) to prove I was better than her 🤷‍♀️. Also heard her telling my step dad that I deserved it when I got attacked by my ex because I didn't do enough housework.

Oh yeah, all the time. They're also horrible about me to my face though.

Even better, I found my Mum's Gransnet account, where she bitches about me online. That was certainly eye opening, especially as some things she said were just wildly untrue.