WIBU to contact school over suspected child abuse?

[Soubriquet]

The reason I’m hesitant, is because I’ve heard it from a friend rather than seeing it myself, and I can’t trust what my friend says 100%.

Anyway, a few doors down lives a family. Youngest kid is 4, oldest kid is 11. There’s another one around 8/9.

Now I know the mother is very shouty. She had a go at my daughter once and terrified her to tears so we are very clearly avoiding her.

Now according to my friend, she regularly kicks the 11 year old out after smacking him around for a bit. He turns up on my friends doorstep for somewhere to stay and he’s usually got bruises.

He won’t let her call the police because he’s worried the younger siblings will get physical actions against them instead. He takes it for them.

She turns up at friends house and tries to bribe him back home with promises of things he’s been wanting. He usually refuses and goes back the next day.

The middle child goes into school with a black eye occasionally. If she’s asked what happened, she’s the 4 year old did it.

So..do I tell the school and let them do their own discrete investigation and therefore possible SS action?

I am slightly worried about my friend though too. I know this woman will kick off big time if the police end up at her house about child abuse and she will blame friend who is a single mother with two young children and one adult child.

Yes, tell the school. They can then decide what to do with the information. Chances are that if it is as bad as you say they already have some idea that something is going on. Your report might help them take action.

No you call the police not the school

You only know this second hand.

What's your friend's justification for not reporting? She can't possibly justify it on the basis that the 11yr old asked her not to, because if it's true she knows that reporting would be in their best interests.

Yes, without a doubt.

Don't even think twice about it

If a child is regularly presenting at school with injuries like a black eye, I would be amazed if the school were not already aware.

Can you suggest your friend raises it since she has seen it first hand? If not, I'd have a quiet word with the school, it is better to err on the side of caution.

Ofcourse you tell the school, they can decide how best to deal with it. You have to for those kids.

Friends justification for not reporting, is, she’s really worried about this woman and her other half getting violent towards her.

She does have really and social anxiety. I’ve encouraged her to tell the school or call the police herself but she just can’t do it

Report direct, try NSPCC

Of course you should tell the school.

If you are emailing rather than phoning them consider writing in the style of you being a neighbour of your friend. I can hear conversations made on my neighbour's doorstep so it's possible that it's not your friend who is reporting this iyswim.

The school won't do much tbh and not reporting directly to the police will make things 100 times worse

So yes report directly to the police who will go straight to SS

Do not bother reporting to the school go straight to the police

Tell,school.and let them.deal.with it ,if the chid/ren regularly turn up.with bruises anyway ,school may already be doing something ,but I would let them know what you have heard

Report to MASH. You can do it anonymously. Just Google your area and mash/ safeguarding hub for the number.

Tell the school, tell them you don't want any comeback on your friend. The school should be all over bruises anyway....so is it true?

You can report anonymously via NSPCC. I've had to do this and the family got the support they needed.

Report it to the police. NSPCC at the very least. You don’t have to name your friend

Call SS or the NSPCC. Your friend should really be calling the police when the child turns up saying he has been assaulted.

If the child has bruises the school will have seen and be handling. I wouldn't inform anyone of anything other than something I had seen for myself.

I would personally be on to the police, social services and nspcc. How can you even need to ask this!!?

I’ll contact the NSPCC.

Thank you. I didn’t realise I could do that

You've admitted you can't trust what your friend says ...

I can’t no, but I also can’t not take it seriously.

So I’ve contacted the NSPCC and I’ll let them do their own investigation.

Either the woman and her partner are abusers, or my friend is lying.