I am in Ireland and am about to start divorce proceedings..

[divorcingdebbie]

I need to ask two things to see if I am bending unreasonable .
My child has been recently diagnosed with mental health illness.
I have been awarded an allowance that gives me e330 per month to pay for his private treatments as our system is essentially broken for children with additional needs and mental health difficulties .
I also will receive a grant once a year for respite to the value of e1850.
I can aplly for a tax credit that will reduce my public sector tax outgoings by e3300.
Should I apply for that tax credit before divorce . It will possibly take two years to finalise divorce. AIBU to think that this could affect my settlement.

Secondly, my husband was unfaithful hence the reason the marriage ended.
I had a relationship a couple of years later while still legally married.
Will this be used against me if I claim infidelity as the reason the marriage ended in serving papers or AIBU to think that this won't matter a jot?
I realise that the laws are different in areas but ultimately , they remain the same in that the judge needs to ensure that both parties are housed to house children and have adequate resources to live.
My husband is self employed and does a lot of cash in hand work. I know he hasn't declared majority of it.
Thank you

We have no fault divorce in Ireland. Why the marriage ended is nothing to do with getting a divorce. No idea on the money end, sorry.

Well you were happy enough with the cash in hand work whilst married, so you’ve shot yourself in the foot there.

My husband started his own business since the marriage ended. He was PAYE until then but thanks for your helpful input

As pp said divorce in Ireland is now no fault status. You are entitled to the tax break once separated, revenue.ie will set out the criteria. Courts are completely backed up so expect a longer time frame.

Thanks@Marblessolveeverything . I have the single parent tax credit already . This is an incapacitated tax credit for children with additional needs. If I apply my nett income will increase substantially so again it will appear that I have more disposable income which may go against me when splitting assets etc

I have however submitted my affidavit of means and the Barrister is currently preparing papers so I'm not sure if
My present financial
Situation will be used in court when the time comes ?

For a situation like this, the best person to ask is your barrister. Or contact your nearest citizens advice center (citizensinformation.ie) for advice.
95% of the replies you'll get here will be opinion, not fact. You need to find out what action will work best for you, and whether people think you are being reasonable about it or not doesn't really matter.