This is a long one so please bear with me.
I became friends with another mum when my eldest started school, we weren’t that close only meeting up occasionally outside of the school playground. Fast forward 6 years, just before lockdown she splits from her long term partner, she comes to me as a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear which I was happy to do. She moves into a house just down the road from me and we spend most of lockdown (when we were allowed) together, we would have her over for bbq’s in the garden, drinks in the garden, we would go for walks etc. As you can imagine we were really close, referred to each other as best friends. Towards the end of the summer she decides to join a dating site and meets a man, contact with her comes to a bare minimum, which wasn’t a problem. Things go belly up with the guy and she starts spending all her time with us again (again not a problem), fast forward to just before Christmas and she meets another man and contact us at a minimum again, I’m happy for her. Again things don’t work out and we are back to her spending time with us. A couple of months go by and she is offered a good job and asks if I would help out with childcare for her daughter which I am happy to do, whilst at this new job she meets another guy, ends up pregnant but single again. Myself and my partner say we will be there for her every step of the way, she also had family around to help.
When she is around 5 months pregnant she suddenly stops speaking to us, I try to contact her, knock on her door but I am ignored. A week or so later she contacts me and says she had a bit of a mental breakdown, I totally understand and tell her I am there for her etc etc… Christmas comes and goes and it’s nearing her due date, we are all so excited. Baby arrives safely, she allows me to meet baby but doesn’t want my children there for a few weeks, again I totally understood even though they were so disappointed. She moves house to just outside the place where we live, we help but it happens to fall on the weekend of my youngest birthday party, she tells me that she will see us the next day at the party (promises my 6 year old), the party comes and they don’t show, obviously my youngest is upset but I say they were probably too busy. I let it go and move on, few months later it is her eldests birthday party but none of us were invited, again I let it go. Suddenly she stops speaking to me, a good few weeks go by then I see her struggling in the playground so go over to help, she tells me she has been diagnosed with skin cancer, we cry together and I tell her I would be there for her no matter what etc. I don’t hear much from her even though I continue to message to check she is ok. Summer holidays come and I pop round to see how she is getting on, still messaging everyday. One day her eldest asks if she can come over to play in the garden but could I pick her up, which I do, my friend says she will be over in half hour once she has settled baby, 3 hours later she turns up to collect her child and leaves! I continue to message her asking if she is ok and how she is getting on but her replies are getting fewer and further apart, if I get a reply at all. The last message I sent her was in August last year asking how she was, I haven’t heard anything since. If I see her drive past in the car she looks away or acts as though she hasn’t seen me.
Am I being unreasonable for not messaging again? Considering she is going through cancer and a single parent. It’s driving me crazy trying to figure out what happened.
Thank you if you have got this far.