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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Panicking about being secretly recorded.

37 replies

buggerbuggerbuggerb · 25/01/2023 19:18

I had to deal with a very angry parent today who came into work (school) unhappy that their daughter had been given a consequence for her behaviour.

This parent has previous history of yelling at staff and has made two of my colleagues cry before. I tried my best to explain why the child received the consequence, but the parent kept shouting over me and made comments about the way I look too. I told them that we are not here to be abused and they needed to leave, calm down and we'll try to have a civil conversation later.

This was met with more anger, and that's when they told me that they had been secretly recording the 'conversation' on their phone.

Now I'm worried that there will be some repercussions on me. I don't think I said anything out of order, but I am upset and unhappy that this parent may use a recording I did not permit to against me.

Any advice??

OP posts:
lieselotte · 25/01/2023 19:19

It doesn't sound like you said anything out of turn, so I wouldn't worry either way.

ghostyslovesheets · 25/01/2023 19:20

A decent school will have your back 100% - no parent has the right to secretly record you - obviously every one knows they are 'that parent' so I wouldn;t worry - unless you called their child a little shithead or something!

WineDup · 25/01/2023 19:20

In this situation I’d speak to my line manager and my union rep, just to be proactive. I wouldn’t worry unduly.

KittytheHare · 25/01/2023 19:20

Parent is completely in the wrong to record you without your consent and hasn't a leg to stand on.

Raindropsdrop · 25/01/2023 19:20

Sounds like she was the one mouthing off though not you, you remained professional so nothing to be held against you.

I would tell manager etc to be proactive

watcherintherye · 25/01/2023 19:20

Any recording will show him in a worse light than you, by the sound of it. I wouldn’t worry.

ghostyslovesheets · 25/01/2023 19:21

and yes tell your senior manager about it so other staff get a heads up

Nimbostratus100 · 25/01/2023 19:21

speak to your line manager - this parent should probably be banned from school premises

I am sorry you have been treated like this x

DieDeutschLehrerin · 25/01/2023 19:22

It doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about but that's not right (not sure if it's legal). I'd be tempted to contact my union for advice and would definitely be letting the head know. A parent shouldn't be coming in and doing that.

CaptainMyCaptain · 25/01/2023 19:22

Speak to your Head Teacher and union rep.

Soccermumamir · 25/01/2023 19:22

It sounds as though you dealt with the situation professionally. They've probably just said it out of anger, however if they have recorded you and they try to use it against you, you could take that further and make an official complaint yourself. Either way you're in a better position than they are so don't worry about it.

quietnightmare · 25/01/2023 19:23

Head teacher asap
And don't worry she has form for it you will be fine

Stellaroses · 25/01/2023 19:23

That is outrageous- you should not be shouted at, receive personal comments or be recorded. My Head would hit the roof and I would never be dealing with this parent again. They might receive a temporary ban from school grounds.
You don’t need to worry about anything looking bad on you. They put you on the spot.

Celinia · 25/01/2023 19:24

Why is this parent allowed onsite to verbally abuse members of staff? They’re totally unreasonable and I don’t think you have any cause to worry. Have you spoken to your boss?

MrsMoastyToasty · 25/01/2023 19:25

Sounds like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree in that particular family.

I wouldn't accept that in any workplace.

Original poster
buggerbuggerbuggerb · 25/01/2023 19:26

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the fast replies.

I've let my boss know already- he is offsite today which is why I ended up having to deal with it.

The parent had a previous ban but it passed and they've been quiet so far this year.

OP posts:
Rainbowqueeen · 25/01/2023 19:27

If I was the head teacher the parent would revive the consequence not you. I would not allow them to attend one on one meetings again - there would always have to bd another staff member there.

Id also consider a ban from the school after seeking advice from my superior

Circleoffifths · 25/01/2023 19:28

How awful for you OP. Nobody should have to deal with that kind of abuse at work. That parent should receive another ban. What a dick.

TheChosenTwo · 25/01/2023 19:30

Oh god I left my old job because some parents are bat shit crazy and we didn’t really have the backing from our head! Well, that wasn’t the only reason but one of many.
How I wished that we could record the children during the day and then show the parents in an assembly 😂
Hopefully this will all resolve quickly, what you said wasn’t out of order, please don’t worry. 💐

WineDup · 25/01/2023 19:31

buggerbuggerbuggerb · 25/01/2023 19:26

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the fast replies.

I've let my boss know already- he is offsite today which is why I ended up having to deal with it.

The parent had a previous ban but it passed and they've been quiet so far this year.

One other thing I’d do - again, just in case it’s needed - would be to write down your memory of the situation, sign and date it.

I really don’t think you’ll need it but it prevents you getting confused about who said what, if the parent was to formally complain.

JammiDodgers · 25/01/2023 19:36

ghostyslovesheets · 25/01/2023 19:20

A decent school will have your back 100% - no parent has the right to secretly record you - obviously every one knows they are 'that parent' so I wouldn;t worry - unless you called their child a little shithead or something!

This. Our head would back you one hundred percent.

FrostieBoabby · 25/01/2023 19:41

I would be tempted to report it to The Police as it sounds like you were quite intimidated. Also, I would imagine someone filming in a school location is a bit dodgy especially if other students were shown in the background of the footage.

AdoraBell · 25/01/2023 19:44

Speak to the HT, tell them about the abuse. I doubt the parent would record themselves shouting and being abusive.

Atethehalloweenchocs · 25/01/2023 19:46

Out of interest - if a parent gets enough bans, can their kid be kicked out of the school? It would not be a great thing to happen, just curious.

MrsFrugal · 25/01/2023 19:47

OP, as an ex a&e nurse of 12 year's, I had this. I can only reassure you that you will have remained professional , your just doubting yourself as we all do because we care. There is no reasoning with some people and I'm sure even if they do have footage (which I doubt they will) they will probably make themselves look like an aggressive bully. I do understand how you feel even though you have done nothing wrong it's hard not to worry about things like this.