To feel at a loss

[DWTKQHG]

I'm 65 and lost my mother, who was 94, from Alzheimer's last August. I had looked after her in her own home for 3 and a half years. Miss her terribly, even though it was sometimes a challenge to look after her. I thought I would cope okay with her death but am finding this incredibly hard. I'm single female with no children. Retired but no money worries. One sibling, very busy, who I am not close to. I have a few friends, but not close friends, more ex work colleagues/acquaintances. Feel I should be getting going with life, plenty of things to do eg travel, but nobody to share things with and can't find the motivation. I know I'm on the fringes of "normal" life but wondered if anyone else had been through something similar. Know it's probably a matter of gritting teeth and finding a way but a little help/advice would be welcome. Many thanks.

So sorry for your loss.

Might be a bit of a cliche but is there a WI close to you? Think Calendar Girls rather than Jam and Jerusalem!!

It's never to late to make friends and new relationships. There will be lots of people near you in similar situations. Ok, most will have children but plenty of those will be distant relationships.

I think the key is to be flexible and pursue things you enjoy. Are there any walking groups nearby? Do you like craft?

University of the third age, WI, local churches etc are good places to start.

I’m sorry for your loss. There are so many lonely people on here - I wonder if there’s some kind of mumsnet meet up. If you were local to me we could meet up for chats, yea, lunch OP.

I'm so sorry you lost your mum.

What was your job? Would you be interested in doing courses at your local university? What about the OU or U3A?

Would you like to go abroad with a group? There are some really good companies out there who do great tours and a lot of the people on them are single or looking for new friends.

My SIL is in the Ramblers and she thinks it's a great place to make new friends. She goes on holidays with them, cycling in France, that sort of thing.

Try to break out of your comfort zone. For the last few years your focus has been on your mum and you've been such a good daughter to her, but now it's your turn to do something for yourself. Be as kind to yourself as you were to her.

Sorry to hear about your mum.

What about volunteering? If you type "do it volunteering" into Google it'll give you a whole range of options local to you and you can see if there's any you're interested in.

I’m the same age and soon going to be on my own and very likely moving to a new area.

Although I like my own company and have loads of hobbies, I know I will need to find new friends.

Although I love animals I don’t have any. My first thought might to offer dog walking, pet sitting, cat feeding services locally. I know it’s not a group activity but it’s a way of getting to know more people. In truth, sometimes you just need a couple of people to turn to.

So sorry for your loss. It sounds like as well as loosing your Mum you have also lost some role and purpose. As well as the suggestions above what about a part time job? There is also a website called Rest Less, sort of MN but for over 50s.

Hi again.

I started this thread in January and just wanted to say that I have been feeling better recently. I have been taking things slowly but doing some voluntary work to get me out and force myself into company.

I have had a (hopefully) minor setback in recent days. I went away from home, alone, for a break but became very depressed and came home and trying to get back to normal state of mind but finding it hard and lonely. I don't read much online stuff but thought I would have a look again at this website.

Thanks for all the earlier replies and suggestions. Much appreciated that strangers take the time to reply.