AIBU to think nursery should help with this?

[WindscreenWipe]

DS has just turned 3. He’s fully toilet trained (finally) and wears pants but he can’t properly wipe. At home, we help him to wipe and go over again. When he started at this nursery, he wasn’t fully dry so we’ve had a bit of a battle with nursery already on this issue. The problem now is that DS needs help wiping and he’s come home again today not clean and with poo on his pants again. He says he said that he told the teacher but no one goes with him to the toilet, he took himself (toilets are in the classroom).

AIBU to think that, at this age, children should be being helped/escorted with going to the toilet? I know DS is behind in toilet training so not sure if IABU if most children do this by themselves at this age.

If he told the teacher he was going to the toilet/needed help wiping, then absolutely fair enough to expect a bit of support. I think it’s reasonable to ask his key worker to keep an eye on it, and maybe prompt him to go to the toilet/ask him if he has been and needs help wiping.

Having said that, the ratio for his age group in a nursery could be 1:13 (depending on the qualifications of the staff) so I think YABU to expect every child to be escorted/helped just on the off chance they might need help.

Thank you. He said he told his key worker that he was going to the toilet but didn’t get any help (wasn’t offered and he didn’t ask either). The room ratio is 1:4 at his nursery, it’s not the legal ratio but it outlined in their brochure. 12 in the room and 3 members of staff in there.

That’s awful. DD is 3 and someone always goes with her. She wipes for wees but they supervise hand washing and she never poos while she’s there but I know they’d do it if she did.

1:4 and he told his key worker, I would definitely be asking her to check re: wiping. If he has made recent progress with independent toileting and he told the key worker, perhaps they assumed it was just a wee and/or he wouldn’t need support. I don’t think it’s wrong of the nursery, but I do think it is reasonable to ask for them to check up on him afterwards.

If he has just turned 3, he doesn’t sound particularly behind on toilet training!

Wow, with 1:4 I’d expect them to be on top of this. My kid same age is at a preschool with 1:14 (yeah crazy I know, we’re overseas) but still generally gets the help he needs though sometimes comes home needing a bit of a clean-up.

Op, if he just said he was going to the toilet then his key worker would probably have expected him to do a wee. He needs to tell them he is going to do a poo, or call out & ask someone to wipe his bottom. Lots of children his age still need help wiping but they do need to speak up. Preschool teachers tend to see the children come out of the toilets and check they wash their hands, which by 3, most can manage.