Am I the only person who finds family WhatsApp groups annoying?

[karrliz]

I have a family WhatsApp group with my in-laws (MIL, FIL, SIL and husband) and have got to the point of muting it!

They are so OTT- to the point where they update on what they are eating, where they are off to each day, asking their daughter (who still lives with them) to come downstairs... just stuff that I'm like- I don't really care?!

We also have a 6 months old and I get pissed off comments from them all for not sending enough pictures everyday! I said to my husband, that funnily enough when I do get a spare 2 minutes from feeding, pumping, changing, settling for naps, playing, housework, cooking and so on, the last thing I want to do is stare at my phone and have a flood of messages that I have to respond to!

I am happy to send pics in the week- maybe a couple of times when she is in a cute outfit or done something new, but every day/ multiple times of the day is too much.

Am I a negative Nelly or would you guys find this too much?

Get a backbone and leave. Christ I have my own family group I don’t have in laws in it that’s his domain.

@TiredButDancing yes do it! I just kept it muted and stayed out but now I'm expected to occasionally respond / show an interest. They don't know I know there's another group. It's all rather tiresome. Shame you can't pick your in laws, hey.

Aw this sounds so nice!

I muted all my group chats that I find annoying and then I went one step further and deleted the app. I asked a couple of close friends to contacting if they ok to use text or messenger and left it at that. It’s a good feeling.

Of course, it's totally up to you. But personally, I think WhatsApp has become a bit like email - you just can't NOT have it and if you don't have it, you have to accept you will miss information. Ditch as many groups as you like but with the exception of people I'm very close to, I'm not going to go and find a new way to communicate with them when I'm sitting on WhatsApp and email all day and so are 99% of the people I engage with.

@NerdyBird1 - happy to pass on the beetroot curry recipe if you want it!

Of course, it's totally up to you. But personally, I think WhatsApp has become a bit like email - you just can't NOT have it and if you don't have it, you have to accept you will miss information
I haven’t found that, I had an in law group that annoyed me and my DH can tell me any important info, I don’t need to see their holiday/pet/meal photos etc. I was on another group and I realised I only actually liked two of the members so I muted that one and still and meet up and communicate with the two people I like.

BIL kicked me off the group once, as I politely suggested that asking his wife to pick up something from the shop should be a text between each other and the whole family don't need to know 😆

Tbh it just sounds like the issue isn't the group itself but how it's being used - the PiL messaging their DD should be either 1to1 or on another group just for their immediate household. Having said that, since the group is so small they probably just don't think it's worth having a second group for 3 out of 5 people for the occasional message about their household.

I have various different family WA groups -

One with my mum's side of the family - my parents, my siblings, my aunt's/uncles and cousins. This is for general family admin, updates and the odd photo or meme eg if it's someone's birthday they'll put in the group if they're having a party and we'll post "Happy birthday" messages on the day; if we've all got together and someone's gone home with a bobble hat that isn't theirs they'll put a pic on the group to see who it belongs to;

One with our family - mum and dad, siblings and partners. This one is more for pictures of our kids and/or announcing their achievements, organising family events (eg dinner at mum and dad's on Sunday, they'll announce they're doing a roast and we'll let them know if we're going so they know how much to cook), organising babysitting, my parents will update with pictures if they have multiple of our kids over for a sleepover etc

One for "the kids" ie me, my siblings and cousins. Mostly this is just memes but sometimes for organising meet ups, photos of nights out, asking for recommendations of places to go for dinner, occasionally someone will find an old photo from when we were kids and will post it so we can all laugh at our 90s style 🤣

One for "the kids with kids" Ie me, my siblings and cousins who have kids which is 90% admin and 10% babysitting requests. Our kids are in two distinct camps - there's 8 kids who are 12-15 and 5 who are 1-8; the younger kids all go to the same school and the older ones also go to the same school and the kids do various combinations of the same activities so it's basically a small scale "parents WA" with various "Is it WBD at the primary on Friday?"/"Can DD borrow Sarah's rugby top, DDs is in the wash and she's got a match tonight?" ; "Hey Jack, can you pick Mary up as well as Jane after their dance show rehearsal today and drop her home for me? I told Mary I'd pick her up because it's raining but my train's running late so I won't be back in time and she isn't answering my message, thanks!"

One for DD with ExDH, his parents and my parents. This is literally just for "DD admin" - sharing pictures of her, letting everyone know about events and achievements, organising childcare etc

To be clear, I have no issue with you choosing not to be on certain groups - you should only be on groups that add value to you in some way. But refusing to use WhatsApp at all would mean if you're my friend, you'd land up not getting as many invites etc.

When I got a new phone around a year ago, I didn’t bother installing WhatsApp.

Peace!

But refusing to use WhatsApp at all would mean if you're my friend, you'd land up not getting as many invites etc
Luckily for me all my friends and my family communicate through messenger.

Wow, it makes me tired just reading this! That's a lot of groups!

Not just you. I muted our group. My mum and sister actively use them for all sorts of pictures like "today we're having fish and chips" or "my new socks" or "Christmas tree is up" 😬I don't like doing it, so I just ignore those messages and reply if something important. My BIL left our family chat 😂

This is actually really sad to read. I love the little updates from my parents and in laws. They love daily photos of our kids, they want to know what's happening in our lives and I've known my in laws for 20 years so I'm just as close to them now as my own parents. No one is nosey or over bearing, everyone just gets on and enjoys each other as families should. There's always so many posts on here about how grandparents don't bother with their grandkids and parents aren't interested in their grown up children etc. It's sad. Once they're gone you might miss these people, I certainly will. So I make the most of them now 🤷‍♀️

@Judgyjudgy it is! But it's much better becuase each group gets fewer responses. There's always that one person who comments on EVERYTHING even when it's irrelevant. This way, that one person isn't on most groups!

I have several group WhatsApps and have them on mute 'always' and just have a look when I want. You're not under obligation to receive a notification every time someone sends a message. Just switch it to mute. It's not really a big deal.

Your ILs need their own WhatsApp group just with their daughter and maybe your husband. That way they can all talk as much as they like on there. The chat that includes you can be used less frequently. Not sure how you can suggest this 😃 but this is what you need.

I left mine. No one noticed. So glad I don’t have that banal tripe in my life anymore.

Banal tripe is exactly what it is 👏

I left my family WhatsApp group

I think WhatsApp should ask you if you want to join instead of automatically adding you

I’m naturally antisocial so I struggle with the family WhatsApp groups but think I’d feel rude if I opted out.

A bit like social media, my family use it to share the trips or outings they go on and our little jaunts don’t seem anywhere near as exciting or interesting so I don’t bother.

It also sort of reinforces that I feel slightly on the outside of my family. Mostly that’s my fault though as I moved away and only return home infrequently.

I might mute it, didn’t realize that was an option.

Have a group with ds1 at university too with DH and I but even that I find odd. I prefer just to contact ds1 direct.

I archived mine.

I had a bust up with MIL and left the family group with the in-laws. Best decision ever, especially as her messages became ever more irrelevant, irreverent and Twitter spam in nature. BIL is also considering leaving but says he doesn't have the balls to do. 😂Nephew has muted it, our kids ignore it, and Mrs Unicorn and her sisters are thinking about starting a new group without their mother in.

We have our own little family one with just us and the kids, nobody else, and that works fine. I think problems arise when groups get too large.

My husband hates them, he has a few from his family too, 'The (our surname)', 'Mum and kids', 'brothers' and I'm sure there's a 3rd or even 4th! He's muted them all and says to them outright 'if it's important, call me or speak to me face to face lol. I am apart of the family one and it doesn't bother me (apart from when his self centred little brother pipes up), I just read the important bits and ignore any idle chit chat that doesn't affect us. It's far better than the school class and ptfa group chats 😂