To not believe what I'm being told?

[thingsdontmakesense]

My DD has a friend the same age who has just split up with a boyfriend. Not that it's really relevant but her friend basically stole a taken man and after about two months he went back to his fiancé. It happens 🤷🏻‍♀️
Anyway just as they split she said she was pregnant. She spends an awful lot of time here so I hear a lot.
My DD is absolutely a good friend and supports her through anything but what she's saying isn't adding up. She was '1-2' weeks on a clear blue, but binned the test and DD was furious with the man for questioning that. Within two weeks she had miscarried. And when I say miscarried went to casualty and was sent home within an hour confirming miscarriage. She went to casualty alone. DD is getting herself all worked up on her friends behalf because the other party don't believe she was ever pregnant and 'how dare they accuse her of lying' etc etc but AIBU to feel the same way? Whether the pregnancy was real or not is generally none of my concern but it's affecting my DD quite badly because she loves her friend so much 😞

They're just into their twenties if that matters

You don't need to believe her. You need to help your DD not take on other people's battles. She is too invested in this. Your DD and her friend need to just forget about him. Miscarriages can be quick and straight forward with no intervention except a scan needed for confirmation. I've miscarried and not gone anywhere.

Shes too invested. There is no baby, they have split, it's time to move on.

It’s none of your business to be honest. If your daughter is foolish enough to believe what anyone tells her then what you need to focus on is her ability to spot people who might mislead her. Is she young for her age?

It's your DD that needs your help, she's far too invested.

She maybe won't listen but letting other people fight their own battles is really important.

her friend basically stole a taken man

ye gawds - seriously 🙄🙄

stole a taken man Oh dear, the poor man. Did he have no say at all in being stolen? I hate this sort of attitude - blaming a woman for a man who cheats.

You and your DD are too invested in this. Stay out of it.

Not even a scan if theres a negative urine HCG in A&E.

I found that phrasing difficult myself! Think it may have more to do with how the OP sees the friend than anything else

I honestly think you are far too invested in the personal lives of a bunch of 20 something's.

Take a step or twenty back. Try and encourage your daughter to do the same as it's not healthy to be throwing down emotionally in situations that actually have nothing to do with her. Otherwise mind your business.

how do you ‘steal’ a man exactly? 🙄

Catch him in a big net and hypnotise him with your Womanly Wiles.

Mumsnet has spoken! At least 5 posters say you are 'too invested'

Does it actually matter whether you believe it or not?

Best comment all day!

I was quite like your niave DD when I was a young teen. Came up for most things my friends said from health conditions to the ridiculous reasons I didn't hear from them in months.

I allowed myself to trust them because in the same situation I would never have lied to people I like and value their heart.

Please remind your daughter that it is her decision to listen to this latest soap opera instead of getting on with her life.

The more I was reminded on what I was being distracted from, the more my friends who lied about big things became people I stopped confiding in about my own life.

I had bleeding at 6 weeks and went to hospital where I had a scan that confirmed a sac and possible subchlorionic hemorrhage. It wasn't an SCH actual my I was miscarrying.

So 1-2 weeks on a pregnancy test is actually more like 3-4 weeks (from ovulation/actual conception), add on another two weeks, so six weeks when she supposedly went to hospital. Entirely possible she was pregnant and miscarried and there was enough blood to make her go to A&E in a panic.

Your DD just needs to let it rest so her friend, if she needs to, can get over what is, quite frankly, a horrific thing to go through.

That's how my wife caught me 😂😂

I wasn't stolen from anyone though (for clarity)

A miscarriage can happen like that without the need to go to hospital even. Your daughter has put herself in her friends shoes. The way the man has treated this poor girl is horrible. She is empathising with her friend and is outraged on her behalf. Sounds like she's a good mate. Nothing wrong with that.

You say the story doesn't add up, but it actually does.

Your dd is good for supporting her friend but the Bf is gone now and the best she can do is help her friend recover from this trauma.

If it turned out she lied it will come out in the wash eventually and your dd can decide whether to keep the friendship or not.

Perhaps also speak to your dd about her view of contraception, it sounds like her friend was only seeing this guy for 2months and mustn't have been using anyway.

Not that it's really relevant but her friend basically stole a taken man and after about two months he went back to his fiancé. It happens 🤷🏻‍♀️

You can’t ‘steal’ a man, if he wants to cheat on his partner, he will. When you blame the woman, you absolve the actual cheater because he was the one in a relationship, not dd’s friend.

Your DD is a future mumsnetter that believes that no woman can ever do any wrong, never lies etc.

Quite a few on here.

Ok, surprised that DD is in her 20s as you all sound very young here.

Firstly why do you care? She's an adult, just ignore it. If it's in your house you don't have to be in the room dealing with young people's drama.

Secondly your DD and her friend are kicking off about this man not believing she was pregnant? Well to be brutal right now, it doesn't really matter, she isn't pregnant anymore so it's a moot point. She's already learnt he's a cheating dick, now she knows he's an uncaring one too. Noone can be surprised by this.