Have I made a massive mistake?

[wherearerhou]

I am due to start my social work placement next week. I have loved the theory side and have passed that with a first. However, I am shitting myself for my first placement which is going to be working with women in the criminal justice system.

I'm suddenly thinking to myself, 'what the fuck am I doing?' I am socially very awkward, people seem to like me, I do have close friends and get on fine with my colleagues at work but I sometimes don't know how to respond to people.

I am interested in other people, especially if they've had struggles, I enjoy hearing about them and offering up advice where I can. I interviewed people in recovery for my dissertation and much of the feed back was that I made them feel at ease and comfortable. But whilst they felt at ease and comfortable, I felt uncomfortable and was aware of every word/action I was doing.

Social work is a high conflict job, I get shaky and nervous in conflict and just need to escape. I'm so worried I'm going to start this placement and my anxiety is going to shine through and they will know I can't do it. It'll be years and money wasted.

I flip between so much excitement about social work and having a career in it to serious, serious doubt.

I am an introvert, I don't do small talk well. I think I could speak to people in a professional manner but when it comes to small talk I really struggle.

I guess the only way I will know is to start but I'm really terrified and have no back up plan. I want to so badly go and love it, and be so excited for my future but I'm just worried going by my personality that I have picked the wrong path although there's nothing else I could imagine doing

Also please no horror stories, I know how stressful social work is and what I'm letting myself in for. I just need to know if you think I can do it and do it well with my personality traits.

You've included lots of evidence from other people saying you've got good people skills. I wonder if you could benefit from some CBT type techniques to stop having negative thoughts about yourself and to believe the feedback you get from others? Worth a try rather than giving up now?

I haven't done social work but I used to work for the emergency services. I'm an introvert, I'm not sure it's obvious all the time. Being assertive isn't about being loud and conflict situations aren't helped by having a personality that likes conflict. I think you should have confidence that your skills will get you through and you'll find enjoyment in your placements. When you qualify you will have options about the type of work you want to focus on and that doesn't drain you too much.

Where is the placement? In a hospital?

You will most likely surprise yourself. The more I progress into my career the more skills like small talk progress. Compared to a few years ago, professionally I am a completely different person. Give it a go, you will probably just go from strength to strength, and don't undersell your current skill set just because you feel you may be lacking some others. Hope it goes well.

Your post made me think of a twist in the job title, that socialising is work for you! Honestly, i know lots of SWs, you do not have to be great socially to do the job well and be a fab colleague, but luckily for you it sounds like you're fine socially. You're just self critical in a way that undermines your confidence, but not your actual skill. Practice being less introspective - basically whenever you find yourself thinking "i'm bad at this", "I'm going to be found out", "i don't belong here", shift your focus to really pay attention to whatever's happening around you. Do this every time and the habit will strengthen.

Small talk is a learnt skill.

Write a list of questions you can rely on to talk about - pleasantries etc

Also it’s unlikely you won’t be supported in the placements. You should be shadowing!

I think you'll probably surprise yourself. I'm a bit like you, hate conflict and get all shaky etc but managed fine with my placements - you just need to wear your work face. Good luck. Placement sounds amazing!!

I’ve not worked in social work, but I’m a teacher which can also place you in conflict, I used to be terrified of parents, like you I often feel awkward in social situations and I dwell on interactions I feel I’ve not negotiated well. However I have found that actually professional interactions aren’t like social ones really, there’s generally an agenda and set things that can happen, you can get really good at negotiating these. I generally enjoy meeting parents these days and I’m really good at reducing conflict and finding consensus. It’s a learned skill.

like in teaching you’re in it to improve lives and presumably the aim in conflict situations is to get everyone working towards a positive outcome. It’s highly skilled but definitely something you can learn and will be incredibly rewarding. I know a social worker with absolutely terrible social skills, but I’ve been in professional meetings with her and she’s amazing at building rapport with her clients.

Good luck

It sounds like you might have a touch of imposter syndrome. You have had good feedback. I think that it’s completely normal to be nervous before taking something like this on. You won’t know until you try and I’m sure you will have some supervision as this early stage in your career. Lean on that - ask for regular feedback and ask as many questions as you can. I’m sure you are going to be great. Good luck!

I'm absolutely terrible at small talk but I'm really good at big talk. I never have trouble talking to service users as a social worker but if I met them at parties I'd be rubbish.
HOWEVER you do need to be able to manage conflict. But you'll learn that on your placements.

I'm not a social worker but I did work in public sector in a potential high conflict environment. Dealing with people at times of stress etc.

I don't enjoy conflict and as a pp said being someone who welcomes it isn't an advantage. The most important thing is your knowledge and your listening skills. If that's sound you can do your job. Hear what people are telling you (which isn't always exactly what they are saying)and argue your point when you need to.

I would focus on your knowledge and on watching the experienced people already doing the job. What do they do well? What small talk do they make? File it away for future reference and use it when appropriate. Steal it all!

Being over confident isn't always a good thing, it's much better to have your attitude of knowing you have a lot to learn. Over the years ime the over confident ones tended to crash quite spectacularly!

Expect not to get it right all the time and use any mistakes as an opportunity to learn. To think about what you could have done differently.

I'm sure it will be ok. Wish you the best of luck

My place of employment offers placements to SW students and I used to be the SW practice educator
The fact that you are stressing and posting about this is actually a good sign as you will do your utmost to succeed
A good placement, uni tutor, and PE offsite and external if that’s what’s required will support you
Good luck!

I think it's ideal for you.

I worked in this area for a long time, as a solicitor, Safeguarder and various other matters, Scotland.

You will know the background before you go, they know it as well. In my experience the best way is to listen. That's what the women and those involved want.

You say criminal justice? So court reports at sentencing? Or rehabilitation for families.

Either way

This is the offence, guilt has been accepted, you have been appointed because (court report, child safety, whatever that is)

Then go from there.

It's a classic role of it's not about you leading, it's about letting the individual feel heard.