To be worried that my 8 week old isn't cooing?

[Paineel]

My 8 week old isn't yet cooing. He does sometimes vocalise (making uh sounds when drinking or grunting when he has wind etc) but he's not doing the happy "aahhoohh" cooing sounds that babies do. My understanding is that this should start between 6-8 weeks.

He looks into my eyes a lot but I'm not sure if he's "fixing and following" as much as he should be. He's not very interested in toys. He occasionally smiles at them but doesn't pay attention enough to want to follow them with his eyes. When he's looking at me, if I move he sometimes follows me but not always.

He passed his hearing test in the hospital and jumps at loud noises but only occasionally looks over to see what is causing them.

When I or someone else try to get his attention he often just looks over at something else.

He does smile but not in response to us smiling at him and there's only been the occasional smile that I feel confident is definitely not just a windy smile.

I'm not sure if I am worrying over nothing? When the HV asked, I said he wasn't yet cooing and she just said that the more we interact with him the quicker he will do those things which made me worry that she thinks it's our fault and we aren't interacting with him enough. We talk and sing to him basically constantly during his awake times.

My DH has high functioning autism and I have ADHD so we expect that DS is probably ND but neither of us had issues with meeting our milestones.

We have our 8 week check next week when he is 9 weeks so I will speak to them about it then but I'm wondering if anyone us had a similar experience or what the GP will do if he's not meeting those milestones? I'm just wondering what to expect.

He’s 8 weeks I think you are expecting too much. I don’t remember either of mine cooing and didn’t know this was a thing. They babbled but that was much older. 8 weeks is way too early to be interested in toys. Mine liked to look around a sleep at that age

What I would say is please don’t focus too much on the milestones and what they should be doing at that age. Every child develops differently and may be ahead of some milestones and behind on others.
I understand why your concerned but you can’t tell anything at 8 weeks or even months after

My baby didn't start doing any of those things til around 12 weeks and I don't think that's considered particularly abnormal, don't forget that all babies are different and reach milestones at different points, 6-8 weeks may be average but I wouldn't be worrying that it was anything to be concerned about for at least another 4-6 weeks. My baby is now almost 6 months and now never shuts up and smiles back at everyone, hope that is reassuring to hear.

You're looking out for issues that aren't there. Try to enjoy him.

Thank you everyone for the reassurance - I feel much better.

Honestly, to me I do think that since he's only been alive for 8 weeks it's a lot to expect of him but after the HV asked about each of those things I went down a Google rabbit hole and probably got myself all worried over nothing.

Are you feeling anxious about other stuff? Might be worth chatting with the health visitor if you are feeling super anxious all the time.

Enjoy your baby, step away from Google. If they are ND then that's OK too, try not to worry about it.

I think Milestones are just a general guide, on my 8 week visit with my girls the HV asked me if they were 'cooing' yet and they weren't, but she did say that because they were premature, 35 weeks, not to worry as they'll "catch up".

I think it's too soon to worry about it at this early stage. They don't really get into toys until quite a bit older I think. Smiling is also hit and miss for a good few weeks. I think constant talking and singing may be too much and he will just switch off. They are very easily over stimulated at that age. Looking away can be a sign of needing a break. I would relax and reassess at about 4 months. In the meantime maybe join some mother and baby groups so that you can get a bit of adult company

No issues

I would say I'm probably quite anxious generally. I had an induction which resulted in an emergency c-section and us staying in hospital for a week, where I didn't feel supported by the staff.

Since birth he had issues with feeding, reflux, screaming for hours, constipation and it's been really difficult to get anyone to take us seriously. So I've been constantly anxious about that too, as he really seemed in pain. We finally got someone to trial us in hypoallergenic formula for suspected CMPA and he's been a million times better. I think maybe now things are settling down and he's becoming happier it's almost like I'm looking for something else to worry about? Almost like I cant believe there's not something wrong? I will definitely speak to the HV about it. Thank you.

Just want to add that things can happen over night - today he isn't smiling in response to your smiles but tomorrow he might start that and by Thursday be doing it all day! Hard not to get fixated on exact week of milestones but they're really just a guide.

My daughters didn’t even smile at 8 weeks. They don’t have any issues.

Breaking news; 8 week old babies don't do much at all.

Just enjoy him exactly as he is. It all passes much too fast.

8 weeks is way too early to be looking out for traits of autism or similar.

I understand, there is autism in my family and I was hypervigilant to these things right from the word go, but it honestly is just anxiety and doesn't mean anything one way or the other at this stage.

Good luck <3

I've recommended this so many times on threads like this.

Search for the kids show Bluey and the episode baby race.

It will help.

You're doing great, as is your baby.

Mine didn’t really babble or make any sounds until 6 months+. Just the odd ‘eh’ or ‘oo’ but not proper babbling. She’s an NT healthy 3 year old now, with normal speech

Wait til four months old then review

Thank you all. I am going to focus on enjoying him and not get too caught up in obsessing over milestones. I am also more aware of potentially overstimulating him and so I will pay attention to those signs.

I am in the exact same boat now. Had 6 weeks review and not smiling or cooing and barely following with eyes. HV calling me back next week at end of 8 weeks to review. Has me totally worried! How is baby now?

@T93 He is 9 months old now. I can't remember how long it took him to start cooing or fixing and following or playing with toys but he did do it eventually!

I think my DS is developing normally and is hitting his milestones but at his own pace - his communication ones tend to come on a little bit slower than they "should". He was "late" to babble consonant sounds and only in the last few days has he started responding to his name. Even then I'm not sure he's responding to his name or just looking around because we are speaking (which means that we may doing something exciting like making him a potato or doing something terrible like tidying some of his toys away.)

I am not worried at all. Because of severe reflux he could barely lie flat for several months and he seemed to take forever to learn to roll. The amount of tummy time guilt and the YouTube videos about how we could get him to roll over. Then suddenly everything changed overnight and he started meeting loads of his physical milestones... some even early! Sitting and standing and crawling and cruising. He's very close to walking independently now.

I am actually a little more sceptical of the milestones now. Some of the ones I find online seem very early. I get that they may be useful for identifying problems but I decided to give my DS a bit more leeway before panicking - after all, the poor lad has never read the milestones info himself and isn't aware that he should now be saying "bababa" instead of his measly "buh"

I'm not downplaying your worries at all but your baby has only been in this world for 7 weeks. That's such a short time for them to be expected to be doing all these things already. It's so hard because you just want them to be ok but I think it's really really likely that everything is absolutely fine. I hope your HV is able to reassure you when she returns. Congratulations on your baby!

Ahhh thank you so much! Glad to hear this positive outcome although whatever happens would be fine ! HV just got me worrying and then googling and going into a downwards spiral and coming across all sorts! Baby was born at 37 weeks too although they class as ‘full term’ but must have some impact!

@Paineel my son never said a word till he was 2 years 1month- lots of stupid noises but no actual words. Since he started he hasn't stopped- he's 25 now and literally as soon as he started talking he spoke in full sentences- I don't remember him ever cooing at all

I think the same especially when talking about such early milestones. An 8 week old baby born at 37 weeks has really only existed as long as a full term 5 week old and this early on there's a big difference between a 5 week old and an 8 week old.

I think some HVs are more cautious than others. Mine has been useless the whole time and I avoid speaking to her if necessary. To be honest I personally wouldn't worry even if you're still getting no smiles or coos by the end of next week. It'll probably just happen one day all of a sudden.

I think it's good your HV doesn't just dismiss things but sometimes the ultra specific milestones can start feeling like deadlines and can increase worry needlessly. In a few months you'll probably barely remember these worried and have brand new ones in their place which will also soon be forgotten. Take care and try to limit the googling.