I have a suspicion I may be this time...

[SueBaroo]

HV brings round a lady from Sure Start, ostensibly because of my various health issues and 3 children under 5. She's perfectly nice and all that, but she was the most patronizing individual ever.

I mentioned, conversationally, that we might go to one of the groups they put on, and said something waffly about the structure of the week, and she then told me that one of the things we could do is sit down together and "write out what we call a 'schedule' for you all, it's just like a routine, but over the whole week".

I was a bit really, and just about resisted the temptation to bounce up and down and ask exitedly if we could use bwight pwetty colours.

I'm on my period and ridiculously over-sensitive, so I'm quite willing to accept that I might be being unreasonable here. But I do still think she was desparately patronizing, and I'm not really sure how well the relationship is going to work if she persists on treating me like I'm 7 and need every word explained to me.

sounds like YANBU, she sounds well meaning but completely patronising

arghh to hv's and surestart.

not had good experiences of either.

yes u are right to be annoyed at feeling she is pushy, yet she wuold say she's tryign to do her job.

Did you actually 'ask' for surestart to be involved?

Maybe as you get to know each other it'll be easier and she'll judge it a bit better - she might have had this idea and was going to offer it up regardless of who she was speaking to - she just needs to get to know you and you need to be clear with her about what you actually need and don't need. It does sound a little patronising though.

My surestart volunteer was supposed to drive me to the supermarket, but was afraid of driving, so asked if we could pray together instead - and as i'm not religious it wasn't really what I felt I needed at that time so i'd dread her visits until i got up the courage to say 'NO! Thank you very much anyway.'

LOL at the bwight pwetty colours.

No, you're not being entirely unreasonable - everyone has the right to be treated like an adult in their own home - but she probably does have her heart in the right place.

When people treat me like an idiot (and why is that mostly people who work in health care, GPs, HVs etc?) I tend to smile sweetly, nod sagely at what they say, then ask the most intelligent, articulate question I can muster (tricky when you've got Aunt Flo in the house admittedly) using the most erudite vocabulary at my disposal. Then just wait for the stunned silence and silently rejoice.

Hopefully she'll get the message very quickly. If she doesn't, you could resort to just-about-the-right-side-of-rude humour. 'It's Ok to use words of more than one syllable, I'll usually be able to follow' accompanied with a wry smile might get through?

what is sure start exactly i went to a toddler group the other day and one of the groupleaders (or whatever you call them) was asking if i was interested in any of their other groups like messy play etc, i said i was and then she was saying she would take my details and send me a load of info

she actually asked if was married of my kids were from the same dad etc, i said i thought that had nothing to do with the play groups, and then she went onto say that they have loads of services etc we could use "do you have a social worker" ffs why would i????

YANBU at all. What you need to remember though is an awful lot of these Sure Start people don't have enough to do. In the past I've found them a bit like Jehovah's witnesses - give 'em a bit of encouragement and they try and move in with you.

but did you ask for involvement?

she sounds very annoying, can you just tell her to not come back, or do you in some way need her?

Oh my god - sorry sorry sorry!

sorry but am pmsl at chocolatedot's foot in mouth!

I don't think you are being unreasonable I hate being patronised.

i think its the phrase 'what we call a schedule' that really puts the boot in!

reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Marge and Homer have to go to parenting classes and the teacher says 'First lesson: Please people, put your rubbish in the bin, I can't stress that enough'

lol
i think she will soon get to knwo you

Suebaroo - I have one of those timetable things (but did it all by myself) for the holidays and half-terms etc. It is very sad & my friends laugh at me, but it works!!
It is useful, because it reminds when the local pool does the fun sessions & when the local museum is open etc

I'm not one of Jehovah's Witnesses, no Just a run-of-the-mill mainstream/fundy Christian.

The HV suggested them. We already have a Homstart volunteer, and the HV said it would be just like Homestart. Doesn't appear that it will be, though. We shall see.

It wasn't that she suggested a schedule - I have a loose schedule for the week already. It was the fact that she explained, slowly and carefully, what a schedule was. Maybe I was dribbling at the time.

My HV has the most annoying habit of repeating the last part of a sentence that I have just spoken.

lol. Patronising cow!

My sis had this (she had DD 11mths and newborn twins)
HV asked while surestart was there whether she was still BF twins, Sis said she was expressing some but mainly bottle so abit of both. HV said 'well which one' and my sis said 'both'.
Surestart woman went on all uppity and said she needed to know one or the other for HV records. My sis replied with if your records are that important she was in the wrong job.

Sometimes I think there so wrapped up in being 'official' they actual miss the point of their job.

PMSL at Watchtower leaflets.. (although must laugh quietly lest we offend any hovering JHs who may be about to swoop in offense.. )

[Fio I haven't found the thread I came on here to look for yet and DH about to throw me off.. will look later.. want to find out WTF ss are up to now!! )

Oh I knew Sue wasn't a JH!! [preens]

And yes I would have found that woman V V patronising Sue baroo, infact I would have said (yes I really would have.. I have become dreadful and without tact around these types of people I am a little ashamed to say.. but sadly, people with disability in the family seem to be patronising-cow magents it seems..)

"I'm not unaware of the meaning of the word schedule.. I'm just not in need of one. What I meant was, time allowing, I will pop in (to such-and-such) a group.. my weeks tend to vary. Not that I was unable to organise myself and needed someone to draw me a CHART!!!!! But thanks!" [sweet smile]

*magnets

Lol fio I knew someone was going to do that!