Pull out of being a bridesmaid because I don’t have the confidence

[Worriedpal37]

Pal is getting married in September in a hot country. She’s asked me to be a bridesmaid. She asked last year, I was slimmer and more confident. No dress try ons yet but she has sent pics of ones she likes, they are in a really unforgiving material and light colour. The other 3 bridesmaids are slimmer than me.
I just don’t feel confident enough. I don’t know how to tell her, am I making it about me? In the same breath though I really don’t think I can stand by her wearing a dress that I feel huge in.

I have considered either telling her I just don’t feel confident about that dress and don’t think I will lose enough weight to look good in it, or just say I’m struggling with confidence and I don’t think I can be a bridesmaid because my self esteem just isn’t there.

YABU- tell her you’re not sure about the dress and can she get something different
YANBU- say you don’t currently have the confidence and want to relinquish your bridesmaid title

Yes I think we underestimate how much having babies changes us mentally and physically! It’s definitely taking me a long time to figure out who I am these days.
I’ve arranged a catch up with her so I can broach the topic and just bring her up to speed with my current body battles. I guess she will have no idea I’m feeling this way. I know she will be supportive if I’m honest with her x

youve definitely put things into perspective for me, I’d never thought of it like that. I am allowing my insecurities to impact my day to day life. Got to get myself out of this rut. It’s not for lack of trying, my stomach shape has changed so much and because I’m slim everywhere else I guess it just makes me look very out of proportion and I’ve become really conscious of it. No clue how to dress or like my new body. X

September is miles away, can you not use this as motivation to get back to the size you were last year?
I'm not saying you should but you obviously felt so much better when you were the size you were last year.

It’s hopefully the plan. It’s just much harder than it has been in the past which I didn’t expect! Before this pregnancy I’ve always been someone who’s maintained my weight and just in general haven’t had to be conscious of it. I know things change as we age, it’s just a learning curve.

September is ages away, you should speak to her if you're feeling that bad about it but there is loads of time to lose a stone before September..and as a back up start shopping for some shapewear, they can make a huge difference to how you look in a dress. Don't give up and drop out though, or you will definitely start cutting yourself off from other things too.

Another option would be to discuss the option of wearing something more flattering to your shape but in the same colour/style ect as the other bridesmaids. But dropping out should be a last resort if you care for your friend. Don't let a momentary dip in confidence rob you of the happy memories you could be making with your friends.

Not really the point but September is in 31 weeks. You could lose a lot of weight by then if you decided to. And it’s the perfect goal.