Anxiety is bad

[Sallycilantro]

My anxiety seems to have gotten out of control. I don't know how I can improve things. It's got to the point where we have a family weekend away booked and I am literally dreading it. It's for a big birthday so I can't get out of it but the thought of being in unfamiliar surroundings and travelling just makes me feel so overwhelmed. I get bad physical symptoms, I was retching over going to Asda earlier today.
I take propranolol but even that isn't touching it at the moment. I probably should go back to my GP but I'm reluctant to take daily meds like citalopram as I had them once before and it just dulled me completely. I also have peaks and troughs where things improve but then get bad again. It's awful.
Does anyone have any coping tips? I don't want life to pass me by or hide away at home because of my anxiety.

I really sympathise. It'ss worth going back to the GP as not all the medications are the same - you could try a different one and see if that helps

@Throckmorton I don't want to just rely on medication and feel zoned out of life all the time :-( that's what happened before. I keep thinking I need to pull myself together and it'll get better, this is why I end up planning things like weekends away. I try and force myself into doing things to try and beat it. Sometimes it works and I end up having a good time but I know without fail there will be at least one panic attack while we're away, probably more, and the fear of it stops me looking forward to it. I never used to be like this, it's just awful.
The one thing that helps me short term is alcohol but then afterwards the anxiety is ten times worse.

Hello lovely, when mine was really bad a year ago I never thought I'd get myself back but I did. Most important thing I did was go off work with stress if that's an option and I got very bold about insisting everyone and I mean everyone gave me a break. I ended up with covid badly whilst off so had an excuse to sleep constantly and not really talk to anyone and I needed it. Sleeping really helps as simple as it sounds. Take each day as it comes and it will get better I promise x

Learn proper deep breathing exercises to help you.

The right medication shouldn’t make you feel out of it. Citalopram made me like a zombie. I’m on fluoxetine now and it’s fine.
I also spend time outside each day. Exercise every day. Practice mindfulness and use breathing.

Oh and CBT!

Paul McKenna Freedom from Anxiety book is very good and the downloads from his website that go with it are really effective I found.

I've been listening to the DARE Response on audiobook which essentially encourages you to accept and even welcome anxiety. Stop giving it the power to scare you, just let the feelings wash over you and don't fight them. Good idea in theory but in practice it's very hard to welcome nausea, shaking, throat constricting and diarrhoea!!!!

Could peri-menopause be a factor, op? Peri can cause horrible anxiety and/or make existing anxiety much, much worse.

I reluctantly went to counselling after being signed off work for a bit a couple of years ago. I thought it'd be a waste of time but it helped me with my anxiety hugely. Yoga and deep breathing exercises are good for me too. I hope you find something that helps you long term

The reason I suggested trying a different medication is they don't all make you feel zoned out (I am on sertraline, and feel 100% like my normal self)

GP for different meds .

And CBT .I don't normally rate CBT but can be useful for learning techniques to help you in the moment .

I tried CBT a few years back and it was a total waste of time. Maybe I didn't have the best therapist but it was just pointless for me. I know that it's trial and error to find what works for the individual but at this point I'm just done with it all. I want to be able to do normal things without having a panic attack. The irony is that I'm panicking about having a panic attack! I'm my own worst enemy. The symptoms are just so horrible and embarrassing that I suspect there's a bit of social anxiety in there too now, I often need to be able to escape situations or know where the toilet is to truly feel relaxed.

So sorry you're going through this OP .With therapy -CBT and other - it can be so hard to find someone you feel comfortable with .
I think it would be worth talking to the GP ,sertraline or another drug might work better for you .