AIBU to let words affect me so much

[JusticeB]

Hey everyone is this normal? Am I being too sensitive.

I had come in from a nice day out with a couple of girlfriends and I sat down next to my husband for a quick cuddle, he was listening to something educational so I just kind of “stroked /touched” him but he didn’t acknowledge/look at me he was very cold instead and he said to me
“I’m not going to drop everything for you am I?”
I wasn’t expecting him to I just wanted to show him I missed him while I was out.
It has triggered me and I haven’t been myself since last night with not wanting to work so daily house tasks etc.

How do I stop his words from hurting me so much? I’m desperate to know for myself so I can let sooner rather than let it linger

Just on the shoulder, Yh I understand it's not what everyone wants but he has mentioned he's like more of it, probably just need to work on getting the time and place right

Or work on no longer tiptoeing around his confusing directions about wanting you to show more affection, then scolding you for complying.

Yh I am getting that it did annoy him that's fair enough, I can accept that. I think things about him too when he annoys me but I don't say them out load because if I did that every time It would make him feel down.

I am looking to work on being sensitive to things but if I wasn't so sensitive would it be ok for him to say that? that's my question because I realise I can be sensitive so I'm trying to get advice on if it's harsh or not because I do realise that about myself. Hope that makes sense

Good instincts is why she thought so.
She's right - OP confirmed that he has "trust issues" & implies she's out flirting/cheating.

Thank you!

Huge history? I'm not deliberately leaving anything out, we have had issues in the past I can't list them all here...but we have been getting along and I genuinely had a good day out with my friends we hadn't argued that day. He may have been annoyed with someone or something else to do with work but he wouldn't say. I'm a sensitive person and In that moment it felt like rejection along with the harsh words I'm not sure what else you want to know?

Well you'll get as many answers as people. It depends what you mean by OK. For me personally I'd rather have someone snap occasionally than be in my face. I personally think you caused the snap.
I think there's 2 things going on here. You're both putting yourself in each others shoes. That's usually a good starting place but what you really need is each others FEET.
You're thinking "I'd never be so nasty to him" Well guess what, he wouldn't be that bothered by a few sharp words so it's not that hasty to him
He's probably thinking "I'd never just go and 'mawl' her. Why would she continue to do it. I held my tongue even though it was irritating, then she had the cheek to ask what's the matter with ME!" You on the other hand think what's so badcaboutvstroking someone you love?
So you both could have played things better, but ultimately only you two can decide if you're compatible.
The second thing is your sense of worth seems to hang on what you believe he thinks about you. Do you have low self esteem? If so this is not the right relationship for you.

we hadn't argued that day

Marking your relationship in days you have or haven't argued isn't a great sign, OP. Some of the things you've said suggest this and maybe other things are sticking points in the relationship and this is bigger than one incident.

Is there a pattern of him being controlling (questioning who you're with) and you trying to elicit emotional/physical connection between you for reassurance? Of him telling you doing that is you expecting him to 'drop everything'? He doesn't sound nice at all. No wonder you feel needy - it sounds like you're trying to seek proof things are 'okay'.