To think saying 'I can't cook' is a cop out?

[SaltyMargarita]

Hi,

I'm not talking about people with real physical or mental barriers. I mean people who are very able bodied and capable people, who say things like 'Oh, I can't even boil an egg so we just go out for our meals'. Really?! You can't boil an egg? You can't put an egg in boiling water, time it, then take it out again?

You may not be a good cook, but you can cook. It might never be a gastronomical delight and you might never be a contestant on Master Chef, but you presumably need to feed yourself/your family?

I honestly think some people are quite proud to say it. Most people I know who say this are very career focused and it's almost like saying they can't cook/won't cook, is kind of emphasising how driven they are outside the home.

Anyway, does anyone know what I mean?

Yes, I hate this narrative. I understand it might not come naturally to enjoy it but you absolutely can throw food into a pan and follow a recipe.

Yep. It’s just wilful incompetence, there’s nothing flattering about it.

I hate this. Anyone who can read, can follow the instructions or a recipe.

Yep. I say I can’t cook. What I really mean is ‘I can’t be arsed to cook because it bores me.’ Luckily DH cooks.

Yes. They really mean 'I don't want to learn to cook'.

This. I just don't want to.

I’ve not really come across anyone saying this in such a blanket way. But I do roll my eyes if blokes at work (so far has always been blokes, but a minority of them) say they can’t bake - totally their prerogative not to bother, people don’t have to be interested at all, but they’re highly intelligent capable engineers, who can follow complex processes etc - they could DEFINITELY follow recipe book instructions. They usually look suitably abashed :-)

I've never heard anyone say this, to be honest. I do know that some (able bodied) adults have no interest in cooking and never do it, but I've never heard one claim not to be able to do so.

I see no issue with twenty somethings taking some sort of ideological stance of not cooking and having a few years of lots of eating out and a bad Deliveroo habit. I went through this period myself. It was great. I had a tiny bedsit kitchen and cooking salmon made my flat stink of fish. Keeping it clean wasn’t easy. Salad would wilt before I ate it. Eating out was easier.

A grown man pretending to be useless so his live-in girlfriend of 8 years has to do everything is very different and I would advise any young woman to stop shagging men who can’t cook, let alone snacking up with them.

Yep - I am the lone woman in a household of men/boys and they CAN all cook. They might not enjoy it, they might prefer someone else to do it, they might cook the same ten things over and over again, they might moan the house down when it is their turn but they can all cook. I refuse to put up with learned incompetence (although if I never see another spaghetti bolognese I won't weep)

If they ‘needed’ to im sure they would. They’re not starving. If they want to spend their money on eating out
or they don’t want to learn, isn’t that their choice.
even if it’s not one I understand personally.

obviously it’s different when the expectation is that someone else will cook for them (for free). But that isn’t what you described

I can’t be arsed to learn to cook, you can’t be arsed to learn to write computer code. Who cares, different people enjoy different things. My lack of cooking ability has never affected you, so why are you bothered?

Yes and no.

Yes because I really am bored by food prep and cooking. Seriously bored. Therefore I don't, therefore I won't become any good at it because what you really need is practice.

No because I can tell you for certain that "if you can read, you can follow a recipe" does not necessarily produce an edible outcome. Again, it requires practice.

I'm happy to trade cooking for washing up though!

If you can read you can cook.

So why don't you just say "I don't like cooking" or "I don't cook" rather than can't?

For the younger set: if you can watch a video you can cook.

I am a terrible cook, and I hate cooking, luckily DP loves to cook and is great at it. He and DC would definitely say that I can't cook.

@Firstmonthfree but you said it yourself. You can't be arsed, not that you just can't. I don't have a problem with that. Call it what it is. It's just when people say they can't do it at all so have to go out etc that winds me up, because it's just not true is it?

I can't cook 🤷🏻‍♀️ I mean, I can boil an egg, I can switch the oven on and put something in it for a set amount of time if it doesn't need anything else doing to if. But if I try to follow a recipe, no matter how much effort and attention to detail I give it, it just won't come out right. I've tried a lot over a long time.
So I am one of those people who say I can't cook and prefer to eat out a lot.
Why does it bother you? I don't expect you to pay for my meals out!
Presumably there is stuff you can't do, unless you are some form of superhero.

we’d still have to go out for dinner though, because I’m not doing it!

I don’t enjoy cooking and I think I’m less than competent at it. However, if it was a question of cooking or starving, then I could cobble something together, but it would probably be pretty boring and lacking in variety. Once upon a time I might have relied on ready meals, but not these days.

Eggs, beans, cheese are all easy to turn into something reasonable.

I agree. Plenty of us don't enjoy cooking and some manage to get by without doing it, but people who say they can't are just lazy and not properly grown up.

why don't you just say "I don't like cooking" or "I don't cook" rather than can't?

I can't (cook edible food) because I don't (cook so don't get sufficient practice to reliably produce something edible).

If your expectation is limited to pasta & pesto, I can cook. Beyond that, hmmm....

It's not something I hear a lot, but when it is said, I presume it is shorthand for "Cooking is not something I've ever really learned, and, quite frankly I'm not that interested in it to invest the time"

Same as I might say I can't play football. I mean, obviously I could if it were something that interested me. I might not be great at it, but I am ambulant and I am able to understand basic instructions so am I copping out by saying "I can't play football" ? I mean, it's not difficult, is it ?
Or what about playing the saxophone ? Can you do that OP ? Why not ? All you have to do is follow a You Tube video and get some practice in, after all ?
Or all the people who can't walk into a room full of strangers and chat to people, or stand at the front of a conference hall and give a presentation. Why not ? You have a voice and can speak words can't you ? It's not that difficult after all.