British "lunch" times at the weekend - why so late?

[Howdoyoulikeyoureggsinthemorning]

Riddle me this, MN. (I'm British myself btw).

Been invited to yet another pub "lunch" with the family. What time have they booked? 3pm!!!!

I just don't understand this tradition.

At school, lunch is usually 12ish, if not 1ish.

At work, lunch is usually 12ish, if not 1ish.

For this reason, most of us have been pretty conditioned to get hungry around the same time of day.

So whenever I'm invited to one of these super late lunches, I end up either:

• Making a pre-lunch for myself anyway because I'm too damn hungry to wait (which often leads to overeating that day...)
• Waiting until I'm so weak that I barely feel like socializing by the time I'm in company (morning ruined) and just counting the seconds till food is in front of me...

Oh, and these late lunches always ruin my appetite for dinner as well!

What gives?

YABU: Weekend lunches are not, nor should they be, like weekday lunches.

YANBU: You're correct and the standard for all pub lunches/roasts/buffets should be brought forward a couple of hours.

Some people are very inflexible. They tend to have a much smaller circle of friends, usually people who do things the way they do things.

OutForBreakfast
One of my older relatives is very inflexible. Lunch is at a certain time and anything more than 15 minutes doesn't bear thinking about. That's one of their quirks we work with it.

Preferring to eat lunch in a lunch window between 12-2, at the time most people typically eat lunch, isn't particularly unusual or inflexible to me. It's just a preference.

It's not at all controversial. It's you complete inability to understand that other people are flexible about food times and actual care about what other people like too, that's the issue here.

You really shouldn't be feeling like a genius. Plus I'd bet yuo have at least one friend who actually thinks "ffs, we always have to suit Lola, she's so rigid and doesn't care what time we might want to eat..."

It's not at all controversial. It's you complete inability to understand that other people are flexible about food times and actual care about what other people like too, that's the issue here.
I've not said I don't understand that other people don't mind.

In fact, I've actually said that I think how people spend their weekends probably makes a difference to their preferences on food books.

I've said it's not my preference to eat lunch late in the afternoon and said why I don't like later bookings.

You really shouldn't be feeling like a genius. Plus I'd bet yuo have at least one friend who actually thinks "ffs, we always have to suit Lola, she's so rigid and doesn't care what time we might want to eat..."
Making some big leaps here.

Not sure why you think having a preference to eat lunch in a typical lunch window of 12-2 is rigid.

And it's really quite weird to start making stuff up about a stranger's friendship group based on nothing more than a stranger saying they don't really like late afternoon lunch bookings. 😂

Not sure why you think having a preference to eat lunch in a typical lunch window of 12-2 is rigid

Because it's not just a preference, it's a refusal to entertain the very, very childishly simple idea of eating a small snack during the "typical lunch window" if you're so desperately hungry that you can't last until 3, and the insistence that you have to cook an unspecified mini-meal to fill the gap. Why?

Guess what? I normally eat my lunch during the "typical lunch window" too. It is my preference and habit. But I am not rigid because I can, easily and without torture or angst, not eat until a bit later, or eat a little something at 1. I didn't think it was much of a talent until I read this thread but now I'm not so sure.

Just have a pre lunch snack and a small supper so you don’t overeat

I think weekend lunch is meant to be relaxed, but even during the week I don’t think many adults eat lunch at 12, unless they start work really early.

Because it's not just a preference, it's a refusal to entertain the very, very childishly simple idea of eating a small snack during the "typical lunch window" if you're so desperately hungry that you can't last until 3, and the insistence that you have to cook an unspecified mini-meal to fill the gap. Why?
It's really not that difficult, just some poster seem to really struggle with the idea of eating more than toast and whilst others seem confused that cooking a smaller portion of lunch is cooking a smaller portion of lunch that wouldn't need to be done if we were eating at lunch time instead of late afternoon.

It's quite funny how much people want to argue about what a stranger might choose to eat for a meal booking arrangement that they prefer not to do 😂.

One of my friends has said they'd rather we did our next meal out earlier rather than later because she doesn't like eating late. I'm tempted to tell her that according to some mumsnetters she's rigid, probably has a small circle of friends who are just like her and her friends are probably saying "FFS" because she'd rather eat earlier than later on an evening.

No it works both ways. When one is flexible - I’ll eat early/ I’ll eat late - whatever is suggested and works for the group.

For example tomorrow we’re going out for early drinks so are having dinner at the early time of 5 (I normally eat around 7-8). Is this a problem? Nope! I’ll just have lunch 12ish and not snack and be ready to eat again by 5.

It’s called being flexible.

Please just answer this very very simple question, @LolaSmiles. Why would you need to cook and eat a "mini meal" between 12 & 2 before eating again at 3?

I reckon the way forward is to say “no” or “can we do it earlier” if it’s an insurmountable problem, or be the one to organise and invite at the standard 12-2 lunch time.
I guess then the late weekend wakers will be stuck maybe not having much time for breakfast, or just having a small breakfast if they’re out for lunch by 12. Or saying “no, that’s a bit early for me”.
I do find that 12-2 lunches are very much full of families, toddlers and babies who have more rigid regimes, early waking and earlier to bed etc.
Horses for courses I guess.

Haha agree.
Mixing with these types can only
lead to trouble… or indigestion, who knows. To be avoided at all costs.

God knows how they’d cope at weddings when you’re waiting around all day to eat, random canapés, never enough food, nowhere to get any other than you’re given. I can’t even start to imagine the distress.

We have our Sunday dinner at 3pm every Sunday at my mums it’s only 3pm as she cooks for 13 people so have to wait for 3 people to finish work

I think on weekends most people eat breakfast later. Even with an older baby or toddler while they may have something upon waking, they often have a bit of brunch.
I think 3 is late, for lunch on a weekend I'd usually say 1/1:30 but life requires flexibility and as such this would be a non-issue for me!

Lay in, innit. I can’t eat a roast for breakfast

We often eat two main meals on weekends, especially if we sleep a bit later. A nice big breakfast, larger than on weekdays, and then a hearty late lunch. There may be a snack in between depending on timing and activity level. We then skip a full dinner and have a snack later instead.

I didn't realise so many people were so rigid about mealtimes! We are v relaxed in our household and eat when/if we're hungry. In the morning I may or may not have overnight oats before I leave for work (sometime between 6-9am), maybe a mid morning banana if energy low and then "lunch" when I get in from work around 3ish as I'm usually hungry then. Kids starving when they come home from school so I aim to feed them around 5pm. I'm still full from late lunch so won't be hungry until nearer 9pm when I might have toast/fruit/cheese.
At the weekend, I keep the kids' mealtimes to around midday and 5/6pm but if activities then adaptable.
I used to work with a woman who would get really stressed if she thought she wouldn't get the chance to eat eg busy day out so might not get a chance until 5pm etc would really panic her. I tend to see food/mealtimes as a faff as they mess up your day as you have to keep stopping to prepare/eat/wash up etc etc
If I was doing a 3pm lunch out I'd probably save myself for it as it's likely to be big and won't need an evening meal as will still be full up.

I prefer lunch at 2pm. But kids need theirs at 12. 3pm would be snacktime for my kids. I usually have dinner at 5. By the time you eat, it would be 3.30pm and probably finish eating by 430. So it could be your dinner?