No references

[Onesmallstepatatime]

I want to get back into work. I’ve taken the last 20 years off looking after my children so not sure I can put down my last proper job. It was a big institution with offices worldwide - they wouldn’t remember me!
I did have a job pre covid within an ex’s small business but he isn’t exactly going to respond nor would I trust him to be nice.
I thought maybe I’d volunteer for a bit but the place I looked also want references!! I don’t know anyone with standing in the community that I could ask and I don’t have any professional type friends. Most are also SAHM like me. What can I do?

I'd put down a couple of friends or acquaintances that are in professional jobs, or jobs similar to the field you are looking at going into.

Bear in mind, references are usually sought after successful interview / interviews. So you'll have already had time to explain the gap on your CV while bringing up family. And, so it won't be unreasonable that you have personal references, rather than previous employers.

It may still be worth a call to your previous employer's HR department for a chat. It's unlikely they will have you on record after all this time (GDPR etc ), but they might have people you know still working there who can confirm your previous employment, then HR can maybe issue a standard reference.

My DP had a large gap on his CV. He was caring for his Dad who had terminal cancer. He really didn't want it to be up for discussion in an interview, as it was a tough time. So his brother agreed that he could put on his CV that he worked for him at his business. It was an outright lie, but his brother's business was completely different to my DP's profession. For example, putting he was a builder's mate, but applying for jobs as hotel manager.

Another option is going into recruitment agencies, meet the recruitmeters face to face, honestly explain your situation and your desire to get back working. As they've met you they are likely to be more inclined to put you up for some short term temp jobs. Which means you can build up some employment and references.

The voluntary job won't be picky at all. Just put down a couple of long standing friends, not relatives though.