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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you find this an overreaction?

10 replies

Wearescientists1 · 22/01/2023 10:40

I went to an art class with a friend I've known a long time, usually lasts about 1.5 hours then we go straight home.
The other night she offered me a lift home which was nice of her, I don't live too far from her so it wasn't out of her way.
We ended up sitting in her car talking, only for about 10-15 mins then I said it was time to go. Dropping me off wouldn't have delayed her getting home by any more than 5 extra mins or so.
Anyway just as we were talking her husband called me on Facebook which I thought was odd, I don't really speak to him outside of seeing her.
He asked me if she was with me as he was concerned she wasn't picking up her phone and wasn't home by now. This was around 15 minutes after the time she would've usually been home.
They have no children, I admit I found this a little OTT from his behalf. If it'd been a couple of hours and no news from her I'd totally understand, but it had been literally 15 minutes at most. I just found it a little controlling. Aibu?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 22/01/2023 10:41

Yanbu, it sounds like she might need a good friend to talk to - keep in touch with her

Wearescientists1 · 22/01/2023 10:42

She's never mentioned anything to me. Well some things that sounds like he goes a bit too far, like he 'jokes' about her teeth but she knows he loves her and doesn't mean it.

OP posts:
SpicedPumpkinLatte · 22/01/2023 10:42

He's either controlling or highly anxious, or both. Either way, keep an eye on her.

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 22/01/2023 10:43

YANBU, keep an eye on her.

WandaWonder · 22/01/2023 10:46

On that alone am not sure I would be pushing the panic button just yet, but if it keeps on happening sure issue

Riverlee · 22/01/2023 10:47

Maybe something innocent, ie. he phoned her to ask something (eg. Pick some milk up on way home) and was concerned when she didn’t answer the phone, especially if she always answers the phone.

Or maybe not…

Wearescientists1 · 22/01/2023 10:48

Yeah it's hard to tell really, I'll write it off as a one off but keep an eye out if it keeps happening like people suggest..

OP posts:
Riverlee · 22/01/2023 10:48

Although the ‘he loves her and doesn’t mean it’ could be deemed as worrying. Again, maybe innocent, or maybe she doesn’t really like it, but accepts it.

Oopswediditagain2023 · 22/01/2023 10:49

It depends - it might be because he was controlling but if she always gets home at 9.30 and then she wasn't home at 9.45 for example he might have been worried something had happened? Me and my partner would have let the other person know, so "just dropping off X - be back at 9.45" for instance. Or could they have had something planned? Like a dinner?

StampOnTheGround · 22/01/2023 10:51

If she always gets home at the same time and then he tried to call with no answer, he could have just been worried something had happened to her

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