Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just want to sleep...

13 replies

Ijustwantsleep · 22/01/2023 09:26

Got a 3 year old DS, he largely sleeps through the night but at least 3 times a wake wil shout for me and I end up in his bed. I wake.up with him every morning.

Partner games until 2am every night. I go to bed earlier as I'm up with the children and work. I listen out for our son on the monitor, meaning if he wakes/stirs/coughs in the night,.I'm always disturbed. He also wakes me every night when he comes in, his phone on extra bright as he wanders around, loudly rustling through drawers, sometimes in and out a few times. I think he does it on purpose.

Partner not once got up with son in the night.

I started asking for an occasional lie in, maybe once a fortnight but it's hardly worth it. Partner comes in and out of the bedroom and he is downstairs talking loud/shouting at our son/shouting from one room to another. So I never sleep. Whereas when I get up, I sneak out of the room, my son and I are quiet and he doesn't even know I've left the room! So be gets undisturbed sleep.

Last night son has a cough. I go to bed early because as a normal person, I anticipate that I'll be awake early because our son is coughing. However I've become a rubbish sleeper, I think it's the unconscious anticipation of being woken at 2am by partner and also knowing I'm always listening out for our son.
DS coughing loads, so I don't sleep as I'm awaiting him waking me. 5am he shouts for me, I try and sleep next to him but he was coughing non stop and sick twice, so had to change sheets. I've been up since 5am...I text partner and say it's not fair he's up all night on Xbox and I am always up with our soon. He came down at 9am and said I can go back to bed and said this "staggered approach works great".

Staggered approach!!!
So he is up all night on Xbox, never wakes in the night or listens for our son and then wakes when he feels like it then kindly takes over for 2 hours for me to "sleep".
I am up in the night, so broken sleep and then up in the morning and then he wonders down after breakfast etc is done, sits on his phone with our son on a tablet, whilst I sleep. I never get back to sleep. I've said it's not fair. I'd like to be able to stay in bed.

Also, this approach doesn't work as I'm up before him all week. I work and do school/nursery drop offs, so have no chance for a lie in all week.

Also to note, I work twice as many hours as he does. He works from home from 1pm. So can always go back to bed once our son is in nursery and me in work.

Partner alwaysa wakes up complaining he's only had 4/5 hours of sleep. Blames his back but he was up until 3am the other morning! What does he expect.

I've not been well. I'm having chronic headaches, having some investigation for bowel issues, keep getting deficiencies and am just absolutely exhausted all the time. I woke up today and wanted to cry as I know I've no hope of catching up on sleep all week.

Oh and when I go downstairs the house will be a tip.

I completely resent my partner.

AIBU?

OP posts:
superplumb · 22/01/2023 19:05

Your partner is a selfish cunt and you need to put ground rules in place or kick him out. You must be exhausted and im.not surprised. What benefit does your partner bring to your life?

Blanca87 · 22/01/2023 19:07

Mate you know the answer to this….
why the Franco are putting up with this?

SarahAshley2 · 22/01/2023 19:08

Sorry but your partner is a prick. How old is he? 12? You need to get rid. You’d be better off on your own as he sounds like a useless loser.

Buttercupmoon · 22/01/2023 19:08

Sorry to not put it more politely but you are being a total doormat. Why have you had a child with this man?

Babymamamama · 22/01/2023 19:09

I had one of those feckless ones too. He’s gone now. And we all sleep better for it.

Zanatdy · 22/01/2023 19:14

Why are you putting up with this? What kind of a relationship is it anyway? Aside from the issue your partner is a useless parent and acts like a teenager. In fact my 18yr old teenage son wouldn’t even do this. Higher your standards and chuck this loser out. Or you’ve got a lifetime of this and much worse

SBHon · 22/01/2023 19:45

I honestly wanted to vote YABU solely because you’re being a mug for putting up with it.

Why are you choosing to live like this?

QueenoftheNimbleFlyingCat · 22/01/2023 20:04

Your DP is a bellend. That's it, my advice is to sit down and discuss seriously and if it doesn't change you either accept life is shit or you leave.

BurtonsRevenge · 22/01/2023 20:05

Your partner is the whole problem here.

Shoxfordian · 22/01/2023 20:06

Your partner isn’t on your team or helping to improve your life at all- he sounds like an overgrown teenager spending all his time gaming instead of being a responsible partner

knobheadinlaws · 22/01/2023 20:14

He's an asshole. Leave the monitor with him until he comes to bed. If he intentionally wakes you when he comes to bed, I'd start doing the same when you get up with your child.

I'd also be telling him this setup isn't working for you and if he isn't prepared to meet you halfway he needs to fuck off somewhere else.

Scotty12 · 22/01/2023 20:50

He is behaving like a selfish man child. Things have to change.

Diablocircus · 22/01/2023 20:54

Voted YABU because you’re putting up with this. Your DS sleeping habits aren’t the problem, your partner is.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page