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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to make an insurance claim against my sisters in laws?

116 replies

Jellywellyfish · 21/01/2023 22:18

This isn’t directly from me, but writing on their behalf for some honest opinions.

So, some time ago my mum got bitten by a dog which was owned by my sisters in laws. It was a very bad bite, and my mum (in her early 80s) had two big open wounds (15cm wide) and 48 puncture wounds and was taken to hospital by ambulance . The said dog was a rescue pit cross (but sister lives in country where these dogs aren’t banned) and also had a history of being a dangerous dog biting other animals and people. Dog not muzzled when my mum visited the house, and she did not know dog had previously bitten another human. She didn’t believe there was any reason to not trust the dog, but at a family gathering the dog randomly went for her biting her leg.

She was on holiday visiting my sister at the time so it basically ruined her trip and left her traumatised and post holiday she had 8+ visits to docs and hospital for checks, secondary infection, swellings etc and struggled to walk on it for months. Almost a year later it’s healed mostly but left a big dent in her leg and still causes frequent pain due to nerve damage and she can’t sleep very well. Sadly, my mum who always loved dogs is now petrified of big dogs and gets really stressed if dogs are off leads in park etc and will actively avoid parks now.

3/4 months after trip she told my sister she was going to make an insurance claim as she could claim for travel expenses and medical supplies such as bandages etc she’d had to buy over the weeks and months. She was okay with this and sent her details of hospitals she attended etc.

When the claim went through a letter was sent from a solicitor at the travel insurance company to my sisters in laws detailing what the claim was for and to request their insurance details to process a claim if there was one. This is when it hit the fan.

My sister rang my mum screaming at her asking why she got solicitors involved it was supposed to be a straight forward claim but there stuff in the claim about lack of enjoyment and that couldn’t be true as she had a good time. She said my mum had to drop the case immediately and she should have never got a solicitor involved. My mum said she didn’t actively get solicitors involved she’s just doing what insurance company says and confirmed she didn’t write the letter or tell them to put that detail in, but asked why it shouldn’t be included in the claim as it’s true.

This has caused a massive rift as my sister thinks the claim should be dropped- it’s leaving her in a very awkward position with her partner and in laws and the repercussions on her in laws. Her partner now refuses to ever speak to my mum again as they think what she’s doing is totally uncalled for. So this means my mum can never go over to see my sister again as my sisters partner will not allow it. But my sister now also says if my mum proceeds with the case she will never speak to her again.

My mum understands that it puts my sister in an awkward position but doesn’t understand why my sister can’t stay impartial enough to speak to her. My mum feels strongly like she would like to see the claim through as the whole thing genuinely affected her in a physical and mental capacity. But she also desperately wants to keep speaking to her daughter.

So, is my mum being unreasonable for pursuing an insurance claim against my sisters in laws? Or should she drop the claim out of principle because they are my sisters family?

OP posts:
LumpyandBumps · 21/01/2023 22:36

There is no easy answer to this.
I do think your sister is being a bit unreasonable, but it sounds like she is under some pressure.
At the end of the day your Mum will possibly have to decide whether the money or her relationship with your sister takes priority.

Keyansier · 21/01/2023 22:40

I'd be concerned your sister (or sister in law, I can't tell from the title/post) is being brainwashed and controlled by the other side of her family, especially her partner.

Clymene · 21/01/2023 22:41

The dog should be insured. It's not your mum's problem if it isn't.

Clymene · 21/01/2023 22:42

Also in the U.K. the dog would have been destroyed if it had caused that much damage.

Awk · 21/01/2023 22:42

I cant ever see a situation where a family member puts an insurance claim and solicitors against another family member, and the relationship carrying on as normal.

Your Mum just needs to decide which one means the most to her, and pursue whichever one that is (the claim or the relationship).

MiddleParking · 21/01/2023 22:43

Is your sister mad? Their dog did this to her mid-80s mother and it’s them she’s bothered about? What’s her husband like?

Bigbadfish · 21/01/2023 22:45

Fuck her! Those morons could've allowed your mum to be killed!
Was the dog destroyed or are they still burying their heads in the sand?

Windbeneathmybingowings · 21/01/2023 22:46

All this over a dog. A pit bull. I don’t understand why people keep getting these dogs when there are a million other loving dogs which aren’t likely to eat you or get you arrested for just walking down the street (in the UK)

YANBU. Anyone buying a pit bull and then moaning about the damage done needs to ask themselves why they bought a bomb and was surprised when it went off.

RayaRyder · 21/01/2023 22:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Luredbyapomegranate · 21/01/2023 22:48

Well your mum should have given your sister a heads up when solicitors became involved, so she could manage her in laws.

Your sister should be more balanced.

I don’t think family relationships are going to be great after this, so as PP says, your mum has to decide what matters most. I think with better communicator and quicker action she could perhaps have done it without a mega rift, but not now.

Windbeneathmybingowings · 21/01/2023 22:52

I think with better communicator and quicker action she could perhaps have done it without a mega rift, but not now.

i think the sister needs to think that perhaps not putting everyone in the company of the dog at risk, she could also have stopped a mega rift.

WandaWonder · 21/01/2023 22:54

So you sister is more worried about other people than her mum that this happened too?

stairgates · 21/01/2023 22:58

Continue the claim and remove your sister and her in laws from any will if there is one.

Bookkeys · 21/01/2023 23:01

Depends if your mum wants a rift between herself and her daughter for what is effectively the last year's of her life, is it worth it?

I do hope the dog was dealt with so it can't harm anymore people or animals

Hankunamatata · 21/01/2023 23:04

I'm not familiar with this type of insurance but will the insurance company seek for sister to pay the costs your mums claiming for and emotional damage etc. If so then your sister could be looking at a large bill.

Guavafish1 · 21/01/2023 23:06

I think your mum should drop the claim if she wants a relationship with her daughter.

It just really depends.

Guavafish1 · 21/01/2023 23:07

Also some insurances don't cover certain dogs.

Chickychoccyegg · 21/01/2023 23:08

As I understand it this is your sisters sil's dog? Why on earth is your sister preferring to protect her sil rather than her own dm? Her dh also sounds awful, is she in an abusive relationship?
Your dm should continue with her claim, it sounds an awful attack , from a very dangerous dog

Tilllly · 21/01/2023 23:08

Does your sister have children? Anywhere near this dog?

Your poor mum. She shld carry on and your sister shld save her fury for the in-laws with a savage animal

FlamingoCroquet · 21/01/2023 23:08

After the attack did your sister and her husband do everything possible to look after your mother, pay for her medical expenses, try to make up for this horrible ordeal? If not, they should be ashamed of themselves and be willing to compensate her.

DaveyJonesLocker · 21/01/2023 23:18

God that sounds like a horrific attack. I hope the dog was pts? I'd be more concerned about reporting the dangerous dog than claiming on insurance.

Is it a claim on her own insurance or is the money coming from SIL. Its a really difficult situation but if my mum was attacked by someone's dog she would be the last person I'd be mad at.

SisterCassandra · 21/01/2023 23:20

They’re not behaving much like family are they? Do you think perhaps they’re not insured to cause this furore? I totally disagree with people who say an insurance claim is always going to wreck a relationship. My daughter was injured in a property open to the public and owned by friends as a child. As an adult she still has scars. We claimed on insurance on her behalf and are still friends with the owners who totally understood their responsibility. Claiming on insurance shouldn’t be taken personally, it’s not a declaration of war, it’s just what insurance is for, to at least partially recompense for a loss. I feel very sorry for your mother who has suffered damage likely to last her all her life and pressure or not I do not understand how her own daughter can behave like this. Your mother is morally right to pursue this claim. Surely she would be unable to forget her daughters attitude and attempt at blackmail even if she drops it now, the damage to that relationship is already done.

Mabelface · 21/01/2023 23:27

The travel insurance company will state in their terms and conditions that they have the right to approach the third party in order to recover their costs. It's called subrogation.

Whoknowswhatanymore · 21/01/2023 23:32

Bookkeys · 21/01/2023 23:01

Depends if your mum wants a rift between herself and her daughter for what is effectively the last year's of her life, is it worth it?

I do hope the dog was dealt with so it can't harm anymore people or animals

This ^^

FeinCuroxiVooz · 21/01/2023 23:36

if your sil has insurance then its not going to cost her for the claim to go through, so why should she care?

if sil didn't have insurance then she may have misunderstood the process. your mum will have held travel insurance. making a claim against that insurance doesn't just trigger a payout with no further consequences. that insurance claim triggers for the insurance company to identify the person or persons responsible for the incident and the insurance company launches the legal case to sue them for the full cost of the claim. if the person being sued has insurance against the liability then typically the two insurance companies will have a formula to agree an appropriate way to apportion things so that they can settle and don't actually have to go through the court process, but otherwise the suit will go ahead.