AIBU that supporting small businesses isn't as simple as it sounds?

[mayana23]

I completely understand the concept of a small business not being able to compete with large corporations, whether that's with locations, whole-sale contracts, capital and standing. I understand that small businesses have high operating costs and that their profit margins are lower.

However, as an employee of the aforementioned giant corporations whose wage does not keep up with real inflation, I cannot afford to support small businesses. I understand why small businesses have higher costs and I understand that it's more ethical/supportive to shop there, however to put it simply, I don't have enough money to shop there!

This conversation came up with a friend. She sells homemade candles (which are pretty pricey in an arguably VERY saturated market), and was asking why I bought my mother a Yankee candle and not one of hers. She wasn't blaming me, but was essentially saying she's at a disadvantage as a small business owner financially compared to everyone else and needs support from friends and family. Whilst I see her point, my own point is that although I don't own a small business, I'm not exactly on level with giant corporations, I'm a low-salaried employee and not a millionaire myself.

So whilst I'd love to shop local at smaller stores and support my friends with their own ventures, quite frankly some of them are so costly, I can't justify the price and/or trust that brandname

Safety was also an element as I have no idea if her candles are safety tested etc or on suitable containers, but that's another topic entirely.

I can't afford to support any small business that sells big standard items that I can buy elsewhere for cheaper. Unless it's handmade quirky stuff that can't be replicated why would you?

I do try to support small/local businesses but you can't always. There's a lovely plant cafe near me but they are selling some plants for almost ten times what I can pick up in a supermarket. I just can't justify spending £50 on something I can get for 6 quid in Sainsburys. It's also worth remembering although huge companies make huge profits they are generally big employers.

You're not being unreasonable. Everyone has their own limits. It's not sustainable for her to rely on family and friends to keep her business going either.

Why on earth did she ask you that. That's embarrassing for her.

I voted YANBU, as she’s a friend I am sure you have bought candles from her in the past, sometimes you fancy a change, YC do so many fragrances perhaps there was one that your mum really likes.

I run a small business and I never ask my friends and family to buy from me, in fact I actively avoid it. If I was reliant on them I wouldn't have a business. It's a mistake many people make when they enter the handmade world, and she won't be in "business" for long, through no fault of yours OP.

It's tough- I just bought each of my kids a football at the village sports shop for 4x what I would've paid online for the same style/quality. I did it because right now I could afford to and I don't want to lose the shops from the village, but I can't do it for every item, local support can only go so far.

It's up to small businesses to do something different. I buy children's books from a small business owner because she wraps them or does things like subscriptions. She makes herself different from Amazon. Doing exactly the same thing as bigger companies and charging more is just not going to work!

I think you have to answer her honestly - you can’t afford her products on your salary.

I earn quite a good salary but I can’t afford to buy everything from bespoke businesses, it’s just too expensive.

Several years ago Dispatches did a programme on the harms of fast fashion Twitter was full of people denigrating working class women for shopping in New Look and Primark. Not everyone can afford People Tree etc.

She shouldn't have asked you, but tbh if shes needs help from sales via friends and family, hers is not a viable business anyway!
more a little hobby..

I wonder whether she shops in independent stores. Surely she knows how much more expensive that is.

Sometimes, you just can't afford principles. I would love to buy that natural seaweed soap and the beautiful hand knitted jumper. I know that they would be fantastic quality too. All I can afford is Home Bargains and the charity shop though.
The best I can do for most small business is share their links and I'll do so happily if I like the offerings.

You have no obligation whatsoever to buy her products.
I don't know how her candles stack up but I get the impression that you don't see any added value in them. If so, then that is her failing.

Her candles should be actively desirable on their merit, and if she can't offer something better than a Yankee then she is in the wrong business.

Example: I have had several candles from small businesses that are hugely superior to Yankees and whatnot. Gram for gram they are more expensive, but if I can't afford the good ones then I don't buy a candle.

Similar to a poster above me, I own a business and would never ask family or friends to buy from me, it actually makes me feel a bit uncomfortable when they do. I rely on the income for me and 2 employees but I plow a lot of time and energy into making products customers want, marketing and advertising them and actually producing high quality items. She can’t rely on or expect family and friends to support this and needs to focus on bringing in real customers.

My business is embroidered clothing and I wouldn’t even think twice if a friend bought an embroidered sweatshirt from ASOS instead of me

Shopping small is great but many times it’s not realistic and no one should be pressured to do this, especially in the current climate where people have less money to spend. Personally too, I am very skeptical of very small businesses selling things like candles and soap, I’d much rather go for something I know is all tested and safe etc if they aren’t doing it all by the book.

Yes I sort of agree. I live in a small town but that's very touristy with lots of little independent shops. Some are great and I shop in them all the time, but others just take the piss with pricing! Or they have weird opening times and then go on Facebook and complain that local people aren't supporting small businesses when it's clearly their business model that isn't working!!

At the same time, I always try and support small businesses, especially those owned by friends. It's not necessarily about buying things from them or supporting financially, but things like sharing social media posts, recommending them to friends etc is a really appreciated thing to do ime

(I'm a small business owner myself)

Small businesses do not have a right to exist. Especially when they are selling overpriced tat.

People forget that big businesses and the economies of scale they bring has lifted the standard of billions across the planet. More people can afford things now that in decades gone by were considered luxuries.

That said, the reason why this country is no longer entrepreneurial with people starting businesses which actually go on to become successful is because there is no incentive to do so. Bad government policies and crippling taxation rates mean that best and the brightest wouldn’t want to start businesses in this country.

I also live in an area that's quite touristy and the independent clothes shops tend to cater for slightly eccentric middle class people who probably dont work given the fact their opening times are pretty bizarre. The only remaining you shops sells intricate wooden construction toys and things made of alpaca wool. I'd rather buy second hand.

Also requires you to be able bodied because they tend to be down cobbly side streets and scattered all different sides of the town.

I have tried to use world of books online instead of Amazon but tbh find it overpriced and the quality has been variable.

*toy not you

There is also a narrative that if you buy from Bills small business you're not inflating the profits of a CEO you're helping to pay Bills mortgage , feed his kids etc.
Well I'm like the OP. I work for a bigger company and am on a pretty low wage. When you shop where I work, yes you're helping the profits of a big company but you're also helping people like me pay my mortgage and bills! The minute we don't hit budgets people's hours are cut. The people that notice that are the ones like me on the shopfloor. So it really isn't that simple.

I'd love to use my local book shop more, but it is more expensive and less convenient than Amazon. The new owners are lovely, but the old owner was rude, so I stopped going there at all.

I went to a local carpet shop and the sales woman was grumpy and unhelpful, so I went to a small chain where they had great prices and a fabulous salesperson. The same shop sent my DM the carpet fitters 3 days later than they said they would, which was rather inconvenient.

I don't go back to businesses who are not friendly, and Amazon hasn't offended me yet

I would love to support all small businesses, but having lost my job in October, having a child with strong adhd (meaning no afternoon care at kindergarten as no one to support him) and having no friends or family in the country I live in (no one to look after him at weekends, evening etc ... his dad died), no form of financial income apart from job centre money and child benefit means I am negative 170 a month just with bills and food. I just can't afford the extra prices.

When I had enough money I did support them and will again once financially ok.