To think I'm going to be depressed forever

[cadburyegg]

Or at least their whole childhood. My children deserve better than this. They deserve a happy mum. My children are wonderful. Yet I'm wracked with anxiety and depression. I'm stressed all the time. Their dad , my ex does the bare minimum. I'm on a high dose of medication. I want to enjoy my children's childhood. I want them to enjoy it.

How do I ensure they aren't permanently damaged by their mum suffering with such bad mental health? I want us all to be happy. I don't see a way how that can happen. I wish I knew how to make it stop.

It won't be like this all the time. I know.

Do you have any close family who could help you with the children a bit? Would it help if you had counselling?

I really struggled after the death of my parents and was no longer getting much enjoyment. I had a year of counselling and it was utterly life changing. You absolutely can change. You will feel joy again.

You say you're already in a high dose of medication- might it be worth asking your gp to review your meds? If this sort isn't helping there are other ADs you can try. If you want things to change, which you do, then this is a very sensible place to start. Can you make an appointment asap? You can and will get better, your children already have a super mum who is looking after them despite struggling. You need to find help for yourself, and you're already doing so by asking here. So you're on your way. Sending you best wishes.

Self refer to IAPT in your area and throw yourself into CBT, wishing you the best of luck. it's not your fault that you are feeling this way but only you can make things better with help.

This may not be exactly what you are hoping for, but the research says that kids are largely alright if they have one good enough parent. I find this reassuring - I'm not a great parent, but I'm good enough.

The reality is, that you are doing your best and it is not your fault that you are unwell. Those are the cards you've been dealt, and you are coping the best you can. That is all any of us can do.

Don't give up with finding a treatment for your depression that works - have you tried meds and spoken therapy? EMDR? ECT? No one should have to just accept they will remain depressed. Have you been referral to a community mental health team?