Hobbies bring out the worst in some people

[7upandup]

If you join a group like a gym, running club, camera club or nature group for example...there is always someone there who thinks they are top dog, patronising and bulshy. It does my head in.
For context

I am part of a wildlife group online. There are some rare migrant birds in my home town and some people from the group have been down to take photos and admire.
I go down today and there are five photographers/people with telescopes.
The birds are on a tree surrounded by a wall.
I walk around the wall taking photos and one man jumps the wall and stands under the tree...he then jumps back down and says to me I think they want space to come down, and signalled for me to move back! I ignored him as I wasn't anywhere near close and I found him out of order seeing as he jumped the wall!
A while later a bird lands on the floor near me, I take photos...he then says excuse me the birds want to land where your standing can you move back?
I ignored again but felt self conscious.

A man accidentally scared the birds by sitting down with his camera and they flew away but he didn't say anything to him.

Every time I meet with people who have the same hobby, there is always bloody someone like this or who wants to be top dog and they act like a dog marking their territory...I'm starting to get p**d off with it now.

Yeah, I gave up my allotment because of twats like this. They’re usually called Roy.

@DuncanBiscuits aww no, I can see why though...something that's meant to be relaxing and dealing with folk like that. Would drive you nuts

I go to a hub type place... drink tea and do some crafts. A lot of people did the same, mostly absolutely unrelated to each other. A lady has come along and now said she is in charge of us all. We are a "group", and she now runs it.

@XenoBitch some people love a power trip, it's embarrassing.
It comes from a place of insecurity, worrying someone will be better or liked better than them. They feel they know better than you.
You can tell the people apart who genuinely want to share and teach their skill set and the ones just dominating their patch.

Yes, a lot of them gravitate to PTFAs. I steered well clear of them for that reason.

This is why I have up rowing, even though I love it as a sport.

Or Keith

Absolutely!
My DM has an allotment, and has similar issues. All the plot holders are in a Whatsapp group. One lady has taken it upon herself to be in charge. One of the plot holders died, and she said everyone could chip in to get him a memorial bench... to be put in an idyllic space on her plot. She was after a bench anyway, but now she does not have to pay for it. Very convenient!

@ichundich that's such a shame. People seem to think as well if they are more experienced then they are better, and patronise the novice ones.
I was the youngest out the group today too, and I'm not young! But the older man made me like a silly girl in the way. Pathetic.

Sounds like a mansplainer to boot! Urgh, I hate that.

nowt as queer as folk…

Especially when it comes to conflicts with wildlife, like in your example! A person's 'need' to go fishing is not essential to their survival (at least not in this country) whereas an otter's need is. Someone's need to take a good photo of a bird is not essential, that bird's need to forage in peace is. Some people have no sense of perspective!

This is why I prefer solitary hobbies. There are guilds and groups for some of my interests, but I think I'm happier on my own. I don't really want people's feedback or critique of my efforts, even if it's well-meant and "constructive", and I certainly don't need bossy know-it-alls in my life!

@RebulahConundrum I couldn't believe he jumped the wall to get a close shot. None of us would have done that! Yet he's telling me to stand back from certain places as he thinks the birds want to land where I'm standing. The mystic Meg of the bird world

i love these types at kids football, though strangely they never seem to be the ones setting up the goals, or running the line….

@XenoBitch that is scandalous! And people agreed to do it!? So annoying when everyone kisses the 'queen bees' arse as well.

Totally. And it doesn’t matter what the hobby is either. It could be book club or golf, there will always be someone who thinks they run the place.

In my experience they are usually (but not quite always) called men

The worst example of this type I've met was a woman who organised a local hobby who was very good at strutting around and telling everyone how busy and important she was, and posting #blessed type posts on social media. She was also extremely good at delegating all the actual work to other group members.

I'm now part of a few other groups now who are much larger and more careful about their ethos and attitudes - nobody is allowed to patronise newcomers or order them about, unless they're doing something genuinely unsafe.

This made me laugh 😂😂

Me too. There is a Roy on my DM's allotment.