Rsvp

[herbaltea21]

Invited to a wedding by a friend - invited to the whole day and evening.
We aren't close but known each other our whole lives. I haven't seen her for about 4 years.
Anyway, her wedding is on my daughters 2nd birthday. Children not invited.
Birthdays mean a lot to me, I would be absolutely heartbroken to not see her on her birthday.
I want to decline. Aibu?
Wedding starts at 10 and is all day and is not local.
I'm a single parent if that makes any difference l.

I would decline but send a lovely card with a Thanks for the invite but it's DD birthday so unfortunately I can't make it.

No YANBU.

I wonder why you think its unreasonable to decline?

Why do you think it would be unreasonable?

Of course you can decline. You’ve already got plans that day so you can’t go. Send a nice card.

Of course you can decline an invitation. The bride and groom have probably checked the date with key people and for everyone else hope they can make it but know that not everyone is able to.

Why can't you just decline? Especially if you haven't even seen her for 4 years

I wouldn’t pick this wedding over my 2 year old for someone who isn’t close. Id consider it for a close friend and then celebrate my child’s bday on a different day at 2 as they wouldn’t know the date.

Are you her only parent, you said single parent but could she be with her other parent on the day?

Me and my ex share birthdays (we have 2 children).
We normally take them out for the day and then they go home with the one they didn't wake up with.
Birthdays are really special to me, it would break my heart to miss his. I would find it really hard to not burst into tears. I might sound OTT to some but this is just one of my things. Especially after having a really traumatic pregnancy and birth.
I just feel bad because obviously I've been invited and I don't want to sound ungrateful.

Why are you being so dramatic about someone you haven’t seen for 4 years? Just say thank you but you can’t make it. They won’t give it a second thought.

I’d decline. My kids birthdays will be more important than anyone’s wedding really and anyone’s wedding I really wanted to be at would be close enough to check the day with me.

It's an invite not a summons 😂😂

@Catnary I'm not being dramatic I'm just asking what other people thought!

RSVP Apologies can't come. It's not difficult.

I’m afraid you are being very dramatic. Just say no thanks.

You are being dramatic. There's no reason for any of this. You'd rather celebrate your daughter's birthday than your friend's wedding. Nothing wrong with that.

Birthdays are really special to me, it would break my heart to miss his. I would find it really hard to not burst into tears.

If that’s not dramatic, what is?

I have literally asked a question to see if anyone would take offence to this reason to decline.

It is dramatic and unnecessary. You haven't seen them for 4 years and are not close. Why do you even need to think about it. It's not ungrateful to politely decline

Thanks for the replies all.
I won't be returning to the thread.

If you don't want to go, just don't go. Regretfully decline and wish them a great day.

I wouldn't say it is because of your 2 year olds birthday, your 2 year doesn't know it is their birthday and you could easily celebrate another day, so it could be seen as a weak excuse. Better to give no reason just regrets.

Don’t let them bother you OP. They’re obviously all feeling a bit tetchy and in need of their alcohol fix tonight. 🤭 Sometimes threads turn weird and once one of the mean girls start, they all pile on.

Honestly, it's probably an invite out of duty more than wanting you there so she will probably been relieved - I'm not trying to be mean, but if she wanted to see you she would have asked during the last four years!

Decline. Enjoy the birthday. Don't give it a second thought.

What an odd post. Of course you can decline. I don't understand the need to run this one passed random MNers

Ah I see. No don't feel bad. They will know people have stuff on.