I'm such a messy eater

[Blueisthecolour1]

I hate the way I consistently throw food around and over myself when I eat. It happens every mealtime no matter how carefully I try not to spill or drop anything. I'm a professional woman in her 40's FFS. I went out for lunch with other colleagues from my team last week - everyone else was just so well put together, and then there's me, in the corner, throwing fucking feta cheese all over my top. It's such a frustration.

WHY can't I eat a meal without dropping something? My table manners are in fact, good, despite how this post may come across. I'm just very clumsy with my food. If i'm honest, I think I get a bit too excited about eating and that's where the errors come in. I'm very into my food, but I'm fed up dropping it ALL.THE.TIME.

It's getting to the point where I feel I don't want to go out for meals anymore. I'm too embarrassed.

My DH thinks it's "cute" (his words) as he knows I like my food. But I feel like I need a fucking bib at mealtimes. 😡

I'm the same. I used to wear a cardigan done up when I worked in a front facing role, that way I could take it off for work.

If it helps, I opened a time of beans at lunchtime, some of the sauce splattered over me meaning I'm now covered in bean juice. Nice on a white jumper.

I honestly just though "what the he'll has Penistone size got to do with eating?!" 🤣

OP I think make an effort to slow down and not overload your fork? But I am laughing at the idea of a table full 9f people sitting calmly eating and you sat in the corner in a tornado of food being flung everywhere.

I was thinking dyspraxia too. You sound similar to me. It's as if my hand forgets where my mouth is, or it randomly stutters on the way up.

How are you at catching things?

Some people don't spill because the lean over their food and scoop/shovel it in. If you're sitting up straight and dropping food then it's probably a sign of a weak core. Work on this and you should improve stability.

You can also film yourself eating or eat in front of a mirror to see if you notice anything.

Dont do this. It will ruin your good blouse.

Do you eat at the table at home or at a desk/or in front of tv?

Switching to a table will also help motor skills to improve.

Did I write this in my sleep?

OP, this is me exactly. I have mild dyspraxia and dyslexia and always consider it just part of that. Very embarrassing tho.

If you put your mind to it, could you actually eat tidily if you really tried. Or is it just impossible, ie uncoordinated?

How we all eat at home, alone, versus in front of others may be different. I can shovel it in with speed, and I love having my mouth full like a hamster. 🤮 But the difference is I can eat properly if I choose to, at a posh do.

The question is, do you actually think you could?

It's not cute, it's horrible.

If you're leaning over your plate, how do you get it on yourself?

Weird question but are you relatively well-endowed? My mum is and has exactly the same problem despite having excellent table manners!
me me me✋️
I have a very ample bosom combined with a fat belly ( Jesus don't I sound like a catch) and every bloody meal something ends up on my top, it's become a standing joke in our family😂
I only ever wear dark clothing if eating out...

I have the same problem. I don't load too much on my fork. I am not well-endowed. I just don't have great hand-eye coordination. I can't say I think about it too much. I do avoid white, though.

Most of my family have this problem. Lots of dyspraxia and big boobs.

If I'm eating out I slow down and choose something non-drippy or staining, and just flick any bits off.

Yes, me too.
It's got worse as I've got older.
I'm autistic and I've never been any good at throwing and catching, so I daresay I'm also dyspraxic.

At home I tuck a tea towel into my top and when we're eating out I do the same with my serviette.
I just have really poor hand to mouth coordination.

Zombie🧟

I'm like this too

I never buy white or light coloured clothing because it just gets ruined.

Interesting that someone says using their fork as a shovel helps, I think honestly it's the opposite for me. I'm too lazy to spear things properly and food falls off my fork. I find it especially bad with pasta that seems almost to bounce and roll. I tend to serve it in a bowl, because I'm also a slow eater and it gets cold too quickly on a plate, so there's nothing to spear into.

Maybe I should just start using chopsticks

I have small boobs but I do have ADHD and I don't sit properly on chairs. If I'm eating with other people then I'll sit properly and make an effort to lean over my plate so any dropped bits fall back onto the plate.

Move your chair right up to the table, don’t overload the cutlery, or wave it around, sit up straight, eat slowly, & don’t talk with your mouth full. Cute it ain’t 🤢

ugh it's a zombie thread

My mum used to call her breasts her "crumb catchers."

Just yesterday I failed to get coffee in my mouth it went all over my chin and down my trousers.

Bizarre. What other toddler things do you do

I suspect we may not want the poster to answer that one!